From our reader Courtney, who thinks having a bed shouldn't be too much to ask for crying out loud:
I just moved to Denver from Philly a month ago and the adjustment is tough; I have no idea where to meet eligible bachelors. A week ago, I found a moonlight bar crawl and ended up meeting a cute blond guy at one of the bars. Unfortunately, I was already a bit smashed when we exchanged numbers, so the memory of him and our conversation the next morning was quite blurry (except that he had lots of tattoos on his arms; the only thing important enough to remember). We text-flirted for a few days until he officially asked me out for a date.
I was pumped because he lives in a great neighborhood and I was finally going to get to see some of the city I now call home. He took me to a bar, then to a great Mexican place with $1 tacos all night (score!!). The bars closed at 2am, so we walked back to his place, which is the basement in a home of a couple in the middle of a divorce which was obviously awkward. We sat on his couch, drinking more beers, watching Adult Swim, and letting the sexual tension build up. After almost an hour, we FINALLY started making out. I was thrilled to be smooching a decent guy so my hormones got the best of me.
"Let's go to the bedroom and get more comfortable," I suggested.
"Um, I don't have one. A bedroom, that is. This is where I sleep," he said.
I looked around expecting to see a bed magically pop out of the wall or from the ceiling. "You sleep in you living room? Where's your bed?"
"Yeah, I sleep on the couch. I don't own a bed because I have back problems and sleeping on the couch or the floor is more comfortable."
Hold the phone--THE FLOOR?!? No thanks, adios, goodbye. I made up some excuse about getting home before my roommate locked me out and bolted out of there faster than Indiana Jones in a pit full of snakes. I may have lowered my standards over the years, but they don't go as low as the floor. The couch is for asses and broke friends with no other place to stay. Get a damn bed before you invite a girl over the next time. Sorry buddy, no amount of great ink can replace a freakin' bed.
This is funny because I remember a few years ago I was really broken up over an ex but then I heard he moved into a new apartment where he paid $100 to sleep on a couple's living room couch. Let's just say that I belly laughed my heartache away.
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comments:
Alexandra
said...
I once stayed over a guy's place who had an air mattress disguised as a real bed. It was a queen, and pretty tall for an air mattress, and he had regular bedding on it.
When I first started dating my husband (7 years ago), he had a twin bed. And he was allergic to cats so he could never stay over my place in my normal, adult bed.
He was only 23, but I was almost 30.Way too old for that shit. So I made him buy a bigger bed. After he did, I knew he was a keeper.
My ex didn't have sheets on the tiny old cruddy twin sized bed of his the first few times I slept there. I'm not sure why I went back, but he did eventually put sheets on his bed, thankfully. Ick!
i went out w/ one guy once that was too POOR to afford a bed! he slept on an air mattress on the floor. and not a nice AERO air mattress...one of those shitty camping ones that cost like $20! i didn't believe him when he told me he had an air mattress until I went to his house and saw it.
My bf owned a futon when we first got together then later got a twin bed. I don't really care. I still have a twin bed. It's a tight fit but it's like we're always cuddling when we sleep together :)
8 comments:
I once stayed over a guy's place who had an air mattress disguised as a real bed. It was a queen, and pretty tall for an air mattress, and he had regular bedding on it.
It was weird.
When I first started dating my husband (7 years ago), he had a twin bed. And he was allergic to cats so he could never stay over my place in my normal, adult bed.
He was only 23, but I was almost 30.Way too old for that shit. So I made him buy a bigger bed. After he did, I knew he was a keeper.
My ex didn't have sheets on the tiny old cruddy twin sized bed of his the first few times I slept there. I'm not sure why I went back, but he did eventually put sheets on his bed, thankfully. Ick!
My ex had a twin bed. He did have sheets, but no comforter. In the end, it was just a tight fit for him, me, AND his pitbull.
$1 tacos all night huh.. Would that be the Mezcal by any chance?
i went out w/ one guy once that was too POOR to afford a bed! he slept on an air mattress on the floor. and not a nice AERO air mattress...one of those shitty camping ones that cost like $20! i didn't believe him when he told me he had an air mattress until I went to his house and saw it.
Turned...off.
the back thing is true. i have relatives that sleep on lazy boys for the same reason. it's a valid argument.
My bf owned a futon when we first got together then later got a twin bed. I don't really care. I still have a twin bed. It's a tight fit but it's like we're always cuddling when we sleep together :)
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