|Take me now, sir|
Maybe because of my own ineptitude, I've come to appreciate a man who knows his way around a deck of cards. I'll watch as he grips the two halves of the deck, zips them into a shuffle, then pushes them back into a pile. My favorite part is when he arches them in his palms like a canopy. You know shit is gonna get real when he can make a deck of cards resemble an agitated cat's spine. If he shuffles the cards quickly a few times in a row, I get even more worked up. Now he's just showing off. (Don't stop!)
I could seriously watch a cute guy shuffle cards all day. I'd sit, mesmerized getting more and more excited with each "pffffft" and "bwwwwwwpt" or however it sounds when cards are shuffled. If he starts getting fancy and tosses them in the air a bit, I'd probably drag him to the closest horizontal surface and cover him in kisses.
Guys who can shuffle a deck of cards like a goddamn pro, I tip my hat to you. You are the unsung heroes of the world.