The People Have Spoken

Or, at least they clicked on the little box in a makeshift poll on the top of the page. And, it is with great pride that I bring you Jeff the Soda Jerk, Philly's Hottest Nerd. I'll hold for applause.



His ice cream scooping ability scooped up your hearts. Congrats, Jeff. If we had any budget here at Shmitten Kitten headquarters, we'd give you the coveted Golden Glasses trophy. Until we hold a bake sale and make that happen, you'll have to settle for a tricked out Blingee that will serve as a testament to your hot nerdiness.

Thanks to all of the guys who participated; you are all winners in our hearts. And thank you, dear readers, for making this one of the most fun weeks we've had in a while. Long live hot nerds!

The People Have Spoken

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And, The Nominees For Philly's' Hottest Nerd Are...

We were flooded with nerd nominations, but ultimately, we whittled it down to five contenders. We feel that each of these fellas embody something uniquely nerdy about Philly and make this city a radder place. They are passionate, they are smart, and they are ours! Of course, in our eyes, all of these guys are winners, but it's your job to pick one.

You can vote for as many guys as you'd like, but you can only vote once. It's like an SAT question that you don't have to study for. The vote will go until Friday, when we will crown a winner. Read below to meet the nerds.

Honorable mentions go to: weatherman nerd/bow tie aficionado Glenn "Hurricane" Schwartz, tech nerd Brian James Kirk, mayoral nerd Mayor Nutter, vegan sXe nerd Klint Kanopka, blogger blowhard nerd Joey Sweeney, sandwich nerd Ben Kessler, rock 'n' roll nerd Joel Flood, party nerd DJ Deejay, and Web developer nerd JP Toto. Did we miss anyone? Leave your write-in candidates in the comments.

And, The Nominees For Philly's' Hottest Nerd Are...

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The A/V Nerd: Mark Schoneveld

Why He's A Nerd: As the main dude on the Internet-only Illadates Show that appeared on Philebrity TV, Mark puts the "working" in social networking. He can be found all over the innnerwebs doing a little of this and a little of that, from hosting a music blog to running a web company for freelance filmmakers to twittering like there ain't no tomorrow (or yesterday, for that matter.) You'll most likely find him haunting around Fishtown joints like JBs and KFN looking to catch good music and documenting it on one of his various outlets.

Why You Should Vote For Him: Just look into those eyes! It's like having your taxes done for you while you're taking a sip of hot cocoa with a cat purring on your lap. He's like if mac 'n' cheese had a mustache and a respectable presence on the Internet.

The A/V Nerd: Mark Schoneveld

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The Music Nerd: Questlove

Why He's A Nerd: In true nerd fashion, let's answer the question as a math problem:

Supertalented musician as the drummer of The Roots
+
Knows volumes about music
+
Has the most laid-back personality and the best hair in the biz
+
The ringleader of Jimmy Fallon's house band
+
Makes the most mundane tweets seem interesting
=
One Hot Philly Nerrrd

Why You Should Vote For Him: Could you imagine how amazing he'd be to date? If you had a bad day at work, he'd listen to your rant, nodding along, interjecting with a few, "What??"s and "No she didn't!"s in all the right places. Then he'd pour you some red wine while he dims the lights. He'd play the most perfect jazz records on the stereo. He'd be all like, "Come here, baby. Let me rub your feet." I'm getting really relaxed just thinking about it. I can...barely...type. *snore* Wait, where were we? Oh yeah, dating Questlove. Yeah. We bet it would rule.

The Music Nerd: Questlove

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The Nerd's Nerd: Jeff the Soda Jerk

Why He's A Nerd: This is Shmitten Kitten's Kelly Clarkson right here; Jeff is our undiscovered gem. We plucked him from a particularly persuasive reader nomination. Here is what his buddy Thomas had to say about Jeff:

"A significant fraction of his free time is spent browsing UFO videos online. When he's not judging the quality of flashing orb clips, he is linking friends to such lectures as Peter Rusell's "The Primacy of Conciousness" and "The Global Brain," Ernie Kovacs' "Kitchen Symphony," and David Deamer's lecture on DNA protein-sequence melodies.

As a professional soda jerk at The Franklin Fountain, Jeff can not only scoop your ice cream, he can also tell you the history of the ice cream in relation to our nation's founding, at the same time if you wish. (Note: While Jeff is required to wear a bow tie to work, I assure you he would wear one anyways were he not. Also it is not a clip on and that’s worth something.)"

Why You Should Vote For Him: UFOs! Bow ties! Ice cream! Count us the fuck in.

The Nerd's Nerd: Jeff the Soda Jerk

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The Bike/Skate/Web Nerd: Jonathan Finnegan

Why He's A Nerd: Jonathan, aka Haveboard, is a veritable Renaissance nerd. He's got mad skillz, as the kids say. He's like the Bo Jackson of Philly: he can bike, skate, and surf the Web all at the same time. I know, we're impressed too.

Aside from managing a blog about skateboarding, he also built the sites broketape.com and fabrichorse.com. As part of the Philadelphia Bicycle Club, he rides with his crew, Brutaltron. And, he's a Mummer to boot. Schwing!


Why You Should Vote For Him: He's basically a nerd on wheels. Look at that face. Every party should have this guy hanging out, sipping a cocktail and classing up the joint.

The Bike/Skate/Web Nerd: Jonathan Finnegan

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The Inventor Nerd: Ben Franklin

Why He's A Nerd: Look it up on Wikipedia if you don't know.

Why You Should Vote For Him: He is basically the original gangsta of hot Philly nerds. You know how you like scoping dudes out in the library? Yo, Franklin created the first public library. You know how you like gettin' free every weekend under the disco ball? This guy freakin' discovered electricity. That's pretty hot. We owe him for paving the way for future hot nerds everywhere. As Ali G would say, "Respek!"

The Inventor Nerd: Ben Franklin

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