Beard v. Beard: Ralph Wins Second Annual Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE! Contest

For those of you who followed along, this was one of the closest races we've ever had in Shmitten Kitten history. It was (bearded) neck vs. (bearded) neck! We were on the edge of our seats the past few days because really, it was anyone's game. It was like when you pick which color is going to win the horse race on the Jumbotron during the break at Phillies' games. Just when you thought your color was gonna cinch it, another color swooped in and finished first. Yeah, it was just like that, except with human men.

Well, it was a close shave but, ultimately, 36% of you voted Ralph as Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE! Here he is, chillin' like a sexy dude villain.



Congratulations, Ralph. Your beard is the sexiest beard in Philly, hands down. But, Chris, don't feel bad. You are first runner-up! If for some reason Ralph is unable to fulfill his sexy duties--say he wears socks with sandals out in public or shaves the beard off--you will be first in line to assume his sexy dude duties. Since you fought such a good fight, we honored you, too.



Thanks so much to everyone that voted and campaigned for the fellas this week. Thanks to all of the guys who participated for being such good sports about the whole thing. We love you forever and ever.

Now that's it's all over, what are we gonna do with ourselves? Oh yeah, freakin' DANCE OUR ASSES OFF tomorrow night at the Khyber for our Holiday Dance Party. And, Whipped Bakeshop has been kind enough to provide cupcakes for the occasion which is like yummmmm x a trillion. Just to recap: we will have three amazing deejays and dozens of cupcakes. That's some math I can get behind. See ya there!

Beard v. Beard: Ralph Wins Second Annual Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE! Contest

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And The Nominees For Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE! Are...

First of all, thank you to everyone who submitted their choices for nominations. It was a tough decision to pick only five, as there were so many worthy candidates.

Ultimately, these guys were chosen because they make Philly a radder place to live. They contribute to our city in a variety of ways, from creating culture to covering it. So please vote for your fave dude on the poll at the top of the page. You can cast your vote for as many guys as you want, but you can only vote once and voting goes until Friday, Dec. 11th at 3pm. Then, we'll celebrate everyone at our Holiday Dance party on Saturday, Dec. 12th Upstairs at the Khyber.

Obviously, in the end, they are all winners. Not necessarily in this particular contest because this is a gladiator arena of online polling with only one man emerging victorious and we take that very seriously. Just kidding. No, really, all these men are winners and total good sports which makes us love them even more.

A few honorable mentions: Sexy deejay Sorted's Mike Z, sexy handsome dude Michael Bray, Sexy cool dude Jack McBrearty, sexy photographer Dominic Savini, sexy sweetheart Eric Zimmerman, the sexy comic staff at Brave New Worlds, sexy bartenders at the P.O.P.E., sexy ad men Jon and Ryan from TieOrDie.com, and sexy bar owner Robert from Tattooed Mom's. Hubba hubba. Maybe next year, fellas.

Ok, let's meet the men!

And The Nominees For Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE! Are...

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Sexy Musician Dude: Chris Ward

Who he is:
Chris is the drummer for Pattern is Movement and he books shows for Johnny Brenda's. Maybe you've seen him running around JB's doing show production as well. That means that he makes sure the bands get their hummus and clean towels. He's also a totally freakin' insanely nice man, but I'm not sure if that's on his resume, too. 

Why you should vote for him:
Not to sound like a creep, but we want to roll up into his beard like a Little Debbie Swiss roll and take a nap. And, have you gazed into his eyes? He looks like a goddamn teddy bear. He's seriously the best! We'd be happy to be his plus one any day of the week.

Sexy Musician Dude: Chris Ward

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Sexy Media Mogul: Tayyib Smith

Who he is:
Print is far from dead. Want proof? Just check out any issue of two.one.five magazine, which Tayyib co-founded and publishes. Yes, publishes! How rad is that?

As anyone in Philly knows, two.one.five strives to cover all corners of the city in a unique and attention-grabbing way. There's no other publication like it in town and we're lucky to have it.

Why you should vote for him:
He pretty much knows everyone. We'll bet that he has the funniest stories and knows the best places to take you on your first date. And, get a load of that smile! We wanna print it out, enlarge it, and slap it on our alarm clock it because, honestly, how can you have a bad day if that's the first thing you see in the morning? Oh, and we heart his Tumblr, too.

Sexy Media Mogul: Tayyib Smith

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Sexy Radical Dude: Eddie Austin

Who he is:
Eddie is a veritable jack of all trades. We'd bet money that you've already seen him bopping around town at one of his gigs, either as one half of the Rogerio Bros. hosting drunk spelling bees, or cheerfully kickin' you more coffee at Honey's or bartending karaoke parties at the Barbary. He's great at shooting polaroids and giving high-fives, too.

Why you should vote for him:
Um, he rules. He is unfailingly positive and as a bonus, he is super easy to spot in the crowd. Hugging him feels like falling into a pile of happy puppies. Also, his blog is hysterical. Two thumbs way up.

Sexy Radical Dude: Eddie Austin

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Sexy Ragtag Dude: Ralph Stollenwerk

Who he is:
As owner of a shirt and poster screenprinting shop called--what else--Awesome Dudes Printing, Ralph aka PinkBikeRalph, has been classing up the joint around here for a while. He runs an intellectual messageboard Crucial Brutal, which is about bikes, bands, and boobs, and sings for the band El Toro De Oro.

Sit down because there's more. He also is captain of the Brutaltron bicycle club and a mummer with the Mollywoppers N.Y.B. Really, does it get more quintessentially Philly than that?

Why you should vote for him:
LL Cool R. Do you blame them? Having him smile at you feels like slipping into a warm tub of maple syrup. Just trust us, it feels niiiiiice.

Sexy Ragtag Dude: Ralph Stollenwerk

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Sexy Sports Dude: Joe Di Buono

Who he is:
Joe Di Buono is a Montreal transplant that plays defense on the Philadelphia Kixx indoor soccer team. Yeah, we didn't know Philly had an indoor soccer team either, but we'll be watching more closely if there's hotties like this panting around the field. He makes us wish we were a bottle of Gatorade that douses him after a winning game. Is that weird? Probably. Do we care? Not at all.

Why you should vote for him:
Joe's a hot yet down-to-earth professional athlete who's traveled the world playing soccer.  He speaks French with a swoon-worthy accent. In his spare time, he paints and coaches little kids in soccer.  Gooooooooaaaaallllll!

Sexy Sports Dude: Joe Di Buono

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Checkin' My Watch: It's That Time of Year Again

No, not candy cane dueling, silly. It's time for our second annual Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE! contest!! Can you even handle that many exclamation points?

Last year, the fine men of Mambo Movers took the top spot. Who will it be this year? We're biting our nails in anticipation. Just kidding. We're not biting them, but we are making an excited face!

It's gonna get heated up in here. We're gonna need the collective power of five Philadelphia men to cool us down with their smoldering looks. Hubba hubba. Here's how it works: we'll nominate five guys on Monday and you guys will vote all next week with the winner revealed on Friday at 3pm. So, what does the winner get? Well, aside from a congratulatory post, he will be crowned as the guest of honor at our holiday dance party on Saturday, Dec. 12th. Oh great, now we have to find a crown. Whatever. It will be awesome.

So, who should we nominate? Who do you think deserves the title? Let us know at hi@shmittenkitten.com. This is gonna be so much fun!

Checkin' My Watch: It's That Time of Year Again

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I Won Shmitten Kitten's First Annual "Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE!" Contest And All I Got Was This Lousy Post?

Well, that's not entirely true; we also made a graphic for you too. But, more importantly, Mambo Movers, you've won our LOVE! After a fierce campaign, the manly moving company have ultimately triumphed by bringing in 37% of the vote. Their ability to move your ratty loveseat down (and up) three flights of stairs whilst simultaneously inviting you to their upcoming dj night at The Lost Bar has certainly made an impression on you guys. Congrats on your win, fellas!

Thanks to everyone who voted. And, a heaping thanks goes out to the other five competitors. You've all been terrific sports about the whole thing. Except the Phanatic. (Just between us, he's been kind of a dick about it.)

Speaking of us, we are going to celebrate! Maybe pop some champagne. Maybe high-five everyone in our immediate vicinity. Maybe throw on some Bruce and see who wants to join us in a feel good sing-along to "Glory Days." These are all appropriate responses, right?

I Won Shmitten Kitten's First Annual "Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE!" Contest And All I Got Was This Lousy Post?

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Dear Shmitten Kitten: WTF?

Hanging out last week, we ran into some guys who seemed seriously bummed that they weren't included in this sexy dude hoopla. They couldn't understand why they didn't make the cut. We even got a letter from one!

Dear Shmitten Kitten,

What the hell? Why wasn't I nominated? I'm pretty hot. I'm in a band. I have glasses. Seriously, why wasn't I nominated?

Signed,
Whatevs

Whoa, Whatevs! Chances are, we do think you're hot. And, if you bought us a beer that cost over $4, we'd probably even give you our number. But, we couldn't add everyone. I mean, we were only supposed to pick five and we had a hard enough time doing that. Don't worry; we'll do the contest again in 2009. We'll look down at our "What Would People Magazine Do?" bracelets and follow their lead.

Just stop badgering us when you see us out. In case you didn't get the memo, yelling at us in a bar about how hot you are is NOT HOT. Capiche?

Dear Shmitten Kitten: WTF?

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And The Nominees Are...

Well, it was tough. We were flooded with nominations and had the difficult task of narrowing it down. Thanks to everyone who wrote in with suggestions. If this post were a movie, right now we'd show you a montage reel of us leafing through submitted head shots and debating the finer points of each candidate. We'd be drinking coffee into the wee hours of the morning, too wired to sleep, determined to get this right. All this just to bring you Philly's Sexiest Dude Alive!

We feel that these dudes all exemplify the perfect Philly man; they embody the spirit of the city. They each have worked to make this town a radder place for all of us. And for that, we thank them. It also helps that they all are total lookers.

I know we said that we'd pick a top 5, but we had a hard time narrowing it down. So, we agreed on a top 6. Be sure to vote for your favorite one in the poll at the top of the page. Voting goes until Friday when we will crown the winner. [Edit: Due to increased interest, we've extended the voting time until noon on Monday, Dec. 8th.] But really, all these guys are winners to us.

Alright, let's meet the fellas.

And The Nominees Are...

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The Golden God: TV's John Atwater

Why He's Hot: Fox 29 reporter John Atwater is clearly the hottest news talent in town (Sorry, Glenn "Hurricane" Schwartz!). We're shocked Orbit hasn't contracted him yet to work as a spokesman because every time he smiles, a sparkle shines from his glistening white teeth.

Why You Should Vote For Him: Could you imagine how psyched your mom would be if you brought this guy home for the holidays? Her whole office would be buzzing about it for weeks.

The Golden God: TV's John Atwater

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The Whole Kit and Kaboodle: Mambo Movers (Yes, The Whole Company)

Why They're Hot: In a radical move, we have included the entire company in one single entry. You know why? Mambo Mover dudes come in all shapes and sizes; short and tall; fat and skinny; rocker and deejay; and, most compellingly, cute and cuter. It's like nominating a box of chocolates for best candy of the year. How can you pick just one? Besides, we like how their motto is "strong and fast, yet gentle and careful." Yeah, um, we'll leave it at that.

Why You Should Vote For Them: Because chances are that you will need them at some point in the near future and, chances are, they will promptly return your phone call. And, did we mention the part about their motto? Since when has a company motto doubled as a wedding vow?

The Whole Kit and Kaboodle: Mambo Movers (Yes, The Whole Company)

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The Cool Kid: Jayson Musson

Why He's Hot: Jayson Musson is pretty much a Renaissance man. When he's not spittin' verse in his band Plastic Little, he's showcasing his trippy artwork around town. He even published a book featuring his artwork! Do you realize how hot that is to be published? Here, we'll tell you: it's VERY HOT!

Why You Should Vote For Him: He's all fun, son.

The Cool Kid: Jayson Musson

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The Dandy: Lord Whimsy

Why He's Hot: Lordy Whimsy can single-handedly class up a joint. Just his presence alone can turn an intimate gathering into an event. He has impeccable style, but you knew that already. When he's not documenting his adventures on his online journal, he is probably in his garden, gingerly tending to his many botanicals. We bet he has the most amazing things in his pockets. Like, magical things we didn't even know existed! We wouldn't be surprised to learn that he can communicate with animals or that he has a unicorn in a stable back at his cottage.

Why You Should Vote For Him: Because Johnny Depp is buying the film rights to his book The Affected Provincial's Companion and will play him in the film. AND, he shares a tailor with both Crispin Glover and Nick Cave. Clearly, the world is a lovelier, dandier place with him in it.

The Dandy: Lord Whimsy

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The Professional Party Starter: Sean Agnew

Why He's Hot: As the main dude behind R5 Productions, Sean Agnew has been turning heads for years. Every girl in Philly can be divided into one of three categories: 1) Those who have made out with Sean 2) Those who want to make out with Sean and 3) Those who say they don't want to make out with Sean, but would actually do it if given the opportunity. This guy is such a babe magnet, there is a blog dedicated to stalking him. Wow! This guy can grow his beard to Rumpelstiltskin status while dressing like a homeless man and still look good. We think that's amazing.

Why You Should Vote For Him: He's doing it for the kids, by the kids. And, he doesn't have any kids of his own! (Well, that he knows about anyway.)

The Professional Party Starter: Sean Agnew

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The Wildcard: Philly Phanatic

Why He's Hot: Hello! He's the best mascot ever! He's like a cross between a Popple, a Fraggle, the Grinch (but waaaaay nicer), and a bathroom mat. Have you ever hugged him? It's like starring in your very own Snuggles commercial. Except instead of smelling like freshly washed baby hair, he smells like little kid sneezes, sweat and lite beer.

Why You Should Vote For Him: Because he can man a hot dog launcher with authority and respect. See?

The Wildcard: Philly Phanatic

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Breaking News: We Are Looking For Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE!

Hugh Jackman, Shmugh Shmackman. I guess he's OK, if you go for that hirsute/werewolf/Aussie thing. But, we see about a dozen hotter guys just barhopping around town on a Thursday night. I'm sure you do too. Which is why--queue the drumroll--we are having our first ever hunt for Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE. Yes, alive.

Nominate your faves to us at hi@shmittenkitten.com and make a case for your chosen hottie. Attach some pics or links if you can. Then, we will take the results back to our laboratories where we will pull our hair up into high ponytails and don labcoats with clipboards. Clipboards!

As you would expect, we will have an exceedingly thorough vetting process. There may even be a Bunsen Burner or two in the mix. After some intense Powerpoint presentations (with the requisite animation) and a few heated debates, we will pick five of the hottest hotties and let you, the readers, decide who should win the title.

Alright, let the flurry of nominations begin! Make us proud, Philly.

Breaking News: We Are Looking For Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE!

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