I'm happy to report that this is something that I never do. In fact, I'd always prefer a phone call to make plans over text unless I know the person really well. I guess I'm just old-fashioned that way. Actually, I'm so old fashioned, that I'd prefer the ol' carrier pigeon to texting. I mean, can a cell phone wear a little helmet and goggles? I didn't think so.I appreciate new technology as much as the next guy, but for heaven's sake, answer your phone! We’ve been texting back and forth constantly to occupy our boring work days. A few weeks go on and we continually make plans via text to see each other in a non-digital /more than 160 characters realm.
So the day comes for our hangout, a weekend afternoon; perfect. You think that'd be simple enough? Oh, we haven't even gotten started. Buckle up because figuring out what you want to do is going to be a drawn out into a three hour conversation. That's a minimum! Here is the way the conversation goes:
That's the jist. At this point, I’ve had enough. This more than two hour texversation is bringing me to wit's end. So after your last message, I decided to call you. Guess what, you don’t answer and it goes to voicemail. I left a message. Three minutes later, you wrote me a text answering my voicemail. FINE! I'll continue to help your crackberry addiction.“What would you want to do?”“How about the park, it’s a beautiful day. We can people watch.”“Nah, I’m not in the mood to sit around and stare at people.”“Okay, how about getting some dinner and drinks?”“After last night, alcohol is not friendly.”“What did you have in mind for the afternoon?”“I don’t know, something fun with you.”
I know there are situations where you may have been busy for those three minutes I tried to call. But we both know you weren’t. I have tried this calling feature on my phone with you a few times and it always seems to fail. Hmmm. Maybe you’re hoarding your free minutes for that phone call to American Idol. Oh, you can do that with text too!
Is it really that hard to call and have a five minute conversation to make a plan so I can SEE YOU, like you wanted? Why must we constantly go through this dance? I don’t want to be in the corner texting away. Don’t put me in that corner!
Showing newest posts with label Textiquette. Show older posts
Showing newest posts with label Textiquette. Show older posts
March 17, 2010
Reader Submitted Quick Rant: Answer Your Damn Phone, Woman!
From our reader Jai, who is fed up with girls using our phones like total dickheads (those are my words, not his):
August 2, 2009
April 7, 2009
Bonerkiller: Textual Dysfunction
We've already said our piece about guys who text "u" and "r" instead of the whole word and when guys just text you the word, "hey." But lately we've seen some disturbing trends creep into our inbox and it involves complete textual dysfunction. We wish we were making this up, but we received the following two text messages from the same lunatic over the weekend. See if you can spot the number of egregious grammatical errors. The first person to email us at hi@shmittenkitten.com with the number of errors wins a prize.Yes, he put a zero instead of the letter "o" AND he mistook the letter "y" for the letter "u." Twice. They aren't even on the same key! Reading his texts are like slurping alphabet soup while on acid. Not to swing the grammar hammer too hard, but what kind of adult confuses the word "know" with the word, "no?" There's too much failure going on in these texts for us to comprehend it.
- Hey know gossip but everthing i said i mean i def want 2 see y
- Hey phillies home 0pener yea do y like baseball
Men of Philadelphia, we cannot emphasize the importance of sound textiquette enough. Any chance you had of being seen with us in public has evaporated because of these misfires. Did you get that? Maybe it'd be easier if we translated the sentiment into your language:
Hey know g0ssip but we r knot gonna c y ever again
February 18, 2009
Bonerkiller: Guys Who Text "U" and "R" Instead Of The Whole Word
I mean, COME ON! Just type out the whole word. It's not that hard. As a head's up, when we read that "u r on ur way," it makes us cringe. Hard. You look like a third grader, the way you peck out the letters like that. And, it is extremely unsexy to read your chicken scratch texts. You don't have to write everything out in the Queen's English, but a little effort goes a long way.
As a general rule, guys who text just the letters "u" and "r" instead of the entire word:
As a general rule, guys who text just the letters "u" and "r" instead of the entire word:
Are terrible at kissing- Drink crappy beer by the case
- Think that Dave & Buster's is a superfun place (spoiler alert: it's not)
- Are unable to confidently pair a good wine with dinner
- Own at least one bottle of AXE spray
- Have owned at least one Lenny Kravitz album at some point in time
- Have an unkempt bathroom with gross, cruddy mags stacked near the toilet
- Haven't purchased a book in the past year
- According to them, have at least two "crazy" exes.
October 13, 2008
Quick Rant: Textual Seduction
I feel like Seinfeld for even asking this, but what is the deal with guys just texting you, "Hey." What am I supposed to do with that? It's great that you're thinking about me, but couldn't your thought have extended a little further? Like--oh, I don't know--an actual sentence? This is usually how it goes:
Him: "Hey"See what you just did there? Suddenly, I am the one asking you out and getting frustrated at your lack of interest. It's almost as if they are caught off guard that I even responded. This happens to me, like, once a week. There I was enjoying my peppermint tea and after our brief text exchange, I wanna run both you and my cellphone over with a Mack truck. Thanks, Duder. Thanks.
Me: "Hey! What are you up to?"
Him: "Just made dinner."
Me, getting slightly annoyed: "Cool. Well, what are you up to tonight?"
Him: "Gonna swing by a dive bar and see some buddies."
Me (in my head): ???????
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