This Week: The Change Up

So, I was looking back over some photos lately and I was snickering at all the different scenes I dipped my toes into over the years. In high school, I was a little punk rocker. I think I still have my studded belt haunting the corners of my closet and a cardboard box full of show flyers in my parents' attic.

In college, I was all about hardcore punk and I had the requisite camouflage cargo pants and high ponytail to prove it. That was until I discovered emo, when I dyed my hair black and got Bettie Page bangs. After college, I pretty much stopped caring about that kind of stuff and just settled into being me; a mishmosh of not giving a fuck and caring a little bit now and again.

But, I remember how I tried on all these different looks and immersed myself in all these different scenes, sometimes because my boyfriend at the time was into it too. Then, I thought about the times I got way into a scene because I wanted to impress a particular guy with my vast knowledge of, say, the the Victory Records catalog or how I knew the Jade Tree band roster. So, for this week, I wanted to write about how sometimes we change our interests in order to hit it off with a dude; the Change Up, if you will.

What's the most crazy thing you've gotten into in order to impress a dude? Drop us a line at hi@shmittenkitten.com and let us know. We promise to not laugh too hard when you tell us.

This Week: The Change Up

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The Change Up: Of Course I'd Like Some More Tofu Scramble!

I grew up in a family where vegetables were--I kid you not--something my mom referred to as “color.” As in, “We need some color for the plate, would you prefer canned peas or green beans?” The only time I ate veggies that weren’t from a can was in the summer and that was only because my parents kept a cute little vegetable garden chock full of tomatoes and bell peppers. Thus, my dietary habits have always been pretty carnivorous.

That is, until I moved to Philly and fell head over heels for a vegetarian dude. Our relationship floundered and I knew that my not being veggie had something to do with it. So, when I had a second chance to date him, I gave up meat cold turkey, or rather, uh . . . cold tofu?

I spent a year miserably turning down filet mignon, buffalo wings, and hot dogs. Guilt ridden, I would occasionally scarf down these foods on days when I knew I wasn’t going to see him. I pretended to enjoy all of the various meat substitutes he would plop in front of me and even taught myself how to cook a few dishes to impress him.

But, when the relationship started going sour I gave up. On my way home from work I picked up every vegetarian’s worst nightmare, the Fast Food Trifecta: a Big Mac, a bucket of Original Recipe KFC, and a generous helping of Long John Silver’s fish and hushpuppies. Well, not really, but I sure wanted to.

The moral of the story: I’m back on the meat train now and I’ve never been happier.

The Change Up: Of Course I'd Like Some More Tofu Scramble!

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The Change Up: Looking Back

I'd always like to think that I would never change for anyone, but upon further reflection, I'd be pretty foolish to think that. There's a slew of ridiculous things I've embraced for the sake of impressing a boy.

I, too, went the vegan route like Amanda. That ended when I got so fed up that I ordered the 50 chicken wing platter. Obviously, things didn't work out. As a side note, no chicken wing has ever tasted as good as the one I scarfed on that day.

I even pretended to give up drinking when I dated a straightedger, but that didn't last long. I was pretty nervous before I would hang out with him because I didn't know what the hell to talk about. He wouldn't have been impressed by my awesome stories of keg stands, burping contests and flip cup victories. To calm my nerves before dates, I would have a drink--errr--a few drinks. Then, he called me a fake and gave me the boot when he smelled the booze on my breath.

Most recently, I dated a gorgeous nerdy boy who was basically the opposite of me--except for the gorgeous part, of course. He introduced me to comics, zombie/horror/slasher movies, Adult Swim cartoons and light sabers. He also opened me up to old school punk rock, thrash rock, and other music genres I had previously avoided. But ya know what? I started to like it.

My friends made fun of me when I gushed about a vintage Captain America limited edition comic book, Aqua Teen Hunger Force's latest antics and how I could totally take on the intergalactic hamburger meat-seeking zombies in Peter Jackson's Bad Taste. They shook their heads when I explained how cool Slayer's Reign in Blood album was, and how badass Darth Vader was and still is. For the first time, my eyes were being opened to a totally different world of geekdom. And, it was awesome.

So my point is that the "change up" isn't always a bad thing. While I quickly returned to my meat-eating, beer-guzzling ways after dating vegans and straight-edgers, and I'm happy to return to chick flicks after having multiple almost-heart attacks watching zombies hack into people's skulls, there will always be a part of the geeked-out, Master Shake-loving "force" that will stay with me, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The Change Up: Looking Back

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The Change Up: I Love Powerviolence Music, I Swear (I'm Totally Lying)

This is all because I didn't have a car in high school. Instead, I got a boyfriend who had a car, and he drove me around everywhere. At first it was fun. We'd sneak kisses in at red lights. We'd make fun of stupid bumper stickers we saw. We'd listen to mix tapes that he made and scoot all around the city. Nothing made me happier than when I saw him pull up in my driveway, ready to go on some new adventures with me.

After a few months, when the butterflies in our stomachs settled down and we settled into a steady routine, he got a little more controlling about the stereo. Before, he would always ask me to pick the tunes, a sweet gesture that promoted harmony. Now, he now wanted to dictate every single note that leaked through his tinny speakers. And, all he wanted to listen to was a gnarly subgenre of hardcore, called powerviolence.

Bands named Spazz, Despise You, MK Ultra dominated our car rides. Most songs--if you could call them that--weren't longer than 17 seconds. I'm not kidding. They were short, jagged, loud, atonal shards of a song. And, I hated it. Oh God, I hated it.

Then, we attended a hardcore punk fest together and he remarked how he saw a girl with a Despise You sticker on her purse and how he wanted to date a girl who was cool enough to do that. I looked at my purse, which was clearly Despise You sticker-less, and frowned. If I wanted to keep dating this guy, I was going to have to give a more convincing performance.

He'd do this thing where he'd be like, "I LOVE this song!" Then, he'd turn the stereo all the way up and start screaming the lyrics and pointing at me, trying to start a little mosh pit in his shitty Ford. I endured it with a tight, small smile. I'd go to powerviolence shows with him; I even purchased the bands' records, all in an effort to live up to his idea of a "dream girl."

Well, the funny thing about the Change Up is that when you break up with the dude you were trying to impress, you get back into your usual music/likes full force to reassert your identity. When we broke up, I immediately put on music overflowing with harmonies and hooks. I sang along in the shower and I blasted it in my parents' car (since he wasn't driving me around anymore). Hey world, newsflash: I love poppy music. Hear me ROAR! It was like having myself back and it felt GREAT.

The Change Up: I Love Powerviolence Music, I Swear (I'm Totally Lying)

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The Change Up: Mr. Anime-zing

I grew up with two older brothers, which means I read tons of comic books and have an unhealthy attachment to Batman--don't even get me started. It also means I've got a serious soft spot for nerdy guys with a little bit of a dark side.

I met Mr. Anime-zing through mutual friends. He was in a band and shared my love for Bruce Wayne. We clicked instantly and ended up back at his parent's place, where I got to view his secret stash--of anime. Tons of it. This dude wanted to listen to the Naruto soundtrack while we made out. He was a pretty chill guy, so I went with it, doing research on the weekends so I'd seem like I knew what I was talking about. This fling lasted a year, and my life became overtaken. I was even thinking about getting an anime tattoo--a half-sleeve of my psuedo-devotion.

When we broke up, I quickly weaned myself off of all the Japanimation, and returned to my first love. I've learned my lesson, and from now on, I'm scouting for potential men at Batman premieres and behind Batsuit costumes on Halloween.

The Change Up: Mr. Anime-zing

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