May 8, 2013

Story Time: The Dumbest Reason You’ve Ever Dumped Someone In Six Words

There are plenty of great reasons to dump someone. Maybe you want kids and she doesn’t. Maybe he is a compulsive liar. Maybe he collects DUIs like Pokemon cards. Those are all legit reasons to peace out.

Today, we aren’t concerned with the great reasons. We’re thinking about the stupid ones. The challenge is to describe the dumbest reason you have ever broken it off with someone in six words. I’ll get the ball rolling:
  • Feet smelled like old tater tots. 
  • Awkwardly stared straight up while kissing. 
  • Always ordered pizza or chicken fingers. 
  • Perfume smelled like freshly cut grass. 
  • Preferred "Voyager" to "The Next Generation." 
  • Voice sounded like a teenage boy. 
Got any awesomely dumb reasons for putting the kibosh on your relationship? Leave 'em in the comments!


[Previously: Worst Dates in Six Words Part 1, Part II, and Part III]

47 comments:

  1. AnnaMay 8, 2013 at 4:42 PM

    wispy hair, bad sunglasses, thin lips

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jon KMay 8, 2013 at 4:45 PM

    Got sick of free cheddar biscuits

    ReplyDelete
  3. thesimplicityMay 8, 2013 at 4:46 PM

    They had full blown AIDS, sadly.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 4:47 PM

    Was a very very bad kisser.

    ReplyDelete
  5. HooliMay 8, 2013 at 4:47 PM

    Reacted to vegetables like a child

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 4:47 PM

    wasn't punk rock enough for me

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 4:48 PM

    Dog drank from same glass.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 4:49 PM

    Insisted on watching TV during sex

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 4:50 PM

    Didn't want to screw him.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 4:50 PM

    large armpit stains, was a virgin

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 4:51 PM

    Wore pants that smelled super mildewy.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 4:57 PM

    Raggedy nails, horrible attire, smelly car

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 4:59 PM

    Drunk dialed me constantly, wasn't funny

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 5:22 PM

    Would not eat penne. Bowties ok.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 5:39 PM

    could not pick the right to/two/too

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 5:41 PM

    He liked egg salad.

    ReplyDelete
  17. LaurenMay 8, 2013 at 5:49 PM

    Lots and lots of back hair.

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 5:52 PM

    Only got hard doing doggie style

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 6:01 PM

    He started stopping during yellow lights.

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 7:30 PM

    He was uncircumcized. I just can't...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Jackie BaikMay 8, 2013 at 8:22 PM

    Ordered a pork chop medium well.

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousMay 8, 2013 at 9:18 PM

    asked me to stop doing coke

    ReplyDelete
  23. heatherMay 8, 2013 at 9:47 PM

    Called non-Apple MP3 player an iPod.

    ReplyDelete
  24. AnonymousMay 9, 2013 at 12:03 AM

    He could not grow a beard

    ReplyDelete
  25. AnonymousMay 9, 2013 at 12:08 AM

    Never had Thai food before. Ever.

    ReplyDelete
  26. AmandaMay 9, 2013 at 1:01 AM

    Corrected my grammar. And was wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Julia CMay 9, 2013 at 9:57 AM

    Wore a New Jersey Devils jersey.

    ReplyDelete
  28. GloriaWandrousMay 9, 2013 at 12:12 PM

    made a dinner with Minute Rice

    ReplyDelete
  29. mifairkateMay 9, 2013 at 12:54 PM

    Finished every sentence with "baby". "I went to the store today, baby. I picked up some apples, baby. I finally located my toothbrush, baby."

    Weird...

    ReplyDelete
  30. Don @ HowYouCanFindLoveMay 9, 2013 at 1:11 PM

    She had small teeth, big gums.

    ReplyDelete
  31. AnonymousMay 9, 2013 at 2:02 PM

    Used whether to describe the temperature.

    ReplyDelete
  32. AndreaMay 9, 2013 at 7:12 PM

    Halitosis. Co-dependent. Ate only fast food.

    ReplyDelete
  33. AnonymousMay 9, 2013 at 8:33 PM

    He meowed inappropriately.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Kicky SamMay 10, 2013 at 9:20 AM

    These are too awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousMay 10, 2013 at 1:43 PM

    Pissed my bed (and my back)

    ReplyDelete
  36. DrewMay 10, 2013 at 9:38 PM

    Contentious, just lay there in bed

    ReplyDelete
  37. Christina CMay 13, 2013 at 11:14 AM

    Did not swing arms when walking.

    ReplyDelete
  38. LKBMay 13, 2013 at 5:05 PM

    Asked about butt sex over appetizers.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Chelsea RaeMay 13, 2013 at 7:10 PM

    Jack hammered me. While under me.

    ReplyDelete
  40. AnonymousMay 18, 2013 at 4:40 PM

    The golf channel.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Modern HarediMay 28, 2013 at 10:05 PM

    Deep intellectual appreciate for Karl Marx.

    ReplyDelete
  42. AnonymousJune 3, 2013 at 10:58 PM

    Little T-Rex hands.

    ReplyDelete
  43. AnonymousJune 4, 2013 at 9:03 AM

    He wore a Garfield t-shirt

    ReplyDelete
  44. Big KJune 5, 2013 at 5:27 AM

    Gained forty pounds in four months.

    Bedroom smelled like vacuum cleaner bag.

    Was a Christian and a virgin.

    Had big dick, didn't use foreplay.

    Met while backpacking, got really sensitive.

    Darkwin Duck tattoo on his ass.

    Shaved his beard, no longer hot.

    ReplyDelete
  45. AnonymousJune 25, 2013 at 12:39 PM

    Pencil dick from detached to stalker

    ReplyDelete
  46. AnonymousJuly 8, 2013 at 5:16 AM

    Straight, but talked like he was gay.

    ReplyDelete
  47. AnonymousJuly 12, 2013 at 3:00 PM

    Wore extremely skinny jeans

    ReplyDelete