January 26, 2009

Break Up Extravaganza: In Case of A Break Up Emergency, Consult This List

The day my breakup became official I was with my mom (hi, Mom!) in Maryland. When we got back to Philly, I made her cart my cranky ass to Target where I stocked the cart with what I like to think of as my breakup supplies:
Chocolove's Raspberries in Dark Chocolate bars. Oh my lord, these things are like heaven for my mouth. Delicious dark chocolate sprinkled with little chunks of freeze dried raspberries. Be still, my heart! When I eat them, I intentionally ignore the dumb love poem printed in the wrapper (which, when I'm coupled up, I find to be very sweet.) It's like crack. And it tastes way better than that marzipan my ex used to try to get me to eat.

A pint of Ben & Jerry's Half-Baked. I don't care if it does have a stupid stoner movie name, there's nothing better than a tub of cookie dough and brownie chunks swirled through chocolate and vanilla ice cream. And, I don't care that it's January. I will wear gloves if I have to while eating this heavenly treat. There's something about this brand of ice cream that catapults it from dairy dessert to SOUL SOOTHING SALVE that baffles me to this day. It's basically an over-the-counter, high-calorie version of Xanax.

Chocolate chip cookie dough in a tube. These things always seem like a good idea at first which is how they even made it into the cart. I snipped open the tube, ate two spoonfuls, then became thoroughly grossed out. After a while, I put the cookie tube to use and made a batch that sat on my counter for a week uneaten before I threw them away. But, those first two bites were still worth it.
And then there are things you can't get at Target, but are equally helpful:
The book, It's Called a Break Up Because It's Broken. Just looking at that Web site makes me cringe. Owning the book makes me cringe. The whole thing is so embarrassing that I considered leaving it off my list. But I'm doing this for you guys, and that book helped me, so whatevs. And while I know it's corny and stupid, it's also helpful. Greg Behrendt and his wife Amira know what they're talking about. Even if you don't follow it to a T, even if you have to wear a disguise to purchase it, I highly recommend it. Jesus, I just "highly recommended" a self help book about break ups. Sigh.

Your friends. Anna mentioned this one and it's so true. Nothing gets me through sad days like lunch with my best friends. Or phone calls. Or trips to Sonic and North Bowl. Or a beer at the POPE. It doesn't matter what we do, knowing that I've got them to hold me up and remind me how awesome I am helps. I'll bet your friends are just as great.

What Would Cher From Clueless Do? aka retail therapy. This one can be hard because money is tight all around right now, but I treated myself. I went to Anthropologie and bought a hot dress. Then, I went to Sephora and bought some lipstick. I dolled myself up and went out with some of those awesome friends of mine and flaunted it all. And it felt great! You don't need to spend a ton of cash, as picking up something small to boost your confidence works too. You have to treat yourself, even if it's just to fresh cut flowers from Trader Joe's.
So, what's on your break up supply list? Leave your best remedies in the comments' section.


Lora said...

I love this. I also think the number one rule in any break up should be to never drunk text/dial/e-mail. While friends are great, consulting a sympathetic room mate is even better. After a few beers I would (reluctantly) hand over my phone to my room mate who would act as its safe keeper for the night so that I was unable to make drunk phone calls. I'd say she no doubtedly saved me from at least seven dozen embarassing drunk dials...

amanda mello said...

This is great too Lora! I don't have a roommate, so I can't do this, but I'm sure it helps.

Stephanie Says said...

it's times like that i wish i had a roommate

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