Let's Have A Serious Chat About Male Tushies And What We Can Do To Get Them To Our Mix Tape Speed Dating Parties

After a little break, we've been working together to set up some more mix tape speed dating parties in the coming months. There still seems to be interest in having them so we are certainly happy to throw them. However, most of the interest seems to be coming from our lady readers. Beautiful, smart, amazing lady readers, to be more specific.

Our question: what can we do to attract more guys to this event? Is there a certain kind of music we should play that you'd like to hear? Are Thursday nights not a good time for you to attend? Is there a better time we should throw the party? Are you just nervous about the entire endeavor? What can we do to get your tushies in those seats? Should we refrain from ever saying the word "tushies" to you from now on? Consider it done!

Leave your ideas in the comments or just email me directly at anna@shmittenkitten.com. I know that our parties have been successful in the past and have created a lot of love around the city, so I want to make it a great time for everyone involved. Thanks!

Dear Shmitten Kitten: Sh-Sh-Sh-Sh-Shady

Dear Shmitten Kitten,

First of all, hello. Second of all, what the fuck is up with dudes lately? When did Philly turn into Shady Lane? Almost every guy I meet has a girlfriend or--gasp!--a wife but they still hit on me like they're available. Once it gets going a bit, they either a) confess and back off b) try to downplay it until I find out on my own or c) plow through and pursue me anyway.

The weird thing is that these guys aren't even that hot, no offense. I mean, they're okay looking, but they really have NO REASON to be as shady as they are. They should be thrilled that any girl would want to hitch her trailer to that truck, why do they have to go potentiality ruin everything just for a little bit of my attention?

Every time it happens, I get more bummed out and more jaded. Are all guys like this or what? 

Signed,
Sick of the Shade

Duuuuuuude. I KNOW! I have no idea where their chutzpah comes from. They've got balls the size of two cheesesteaks to pull this shit on us. I'm sure it's a perfect storm on his part of boredom with his lady, attraction to you, and the promise of an ego stroke down the line.

I, too, have witnessed this phenomenon firsthand. I'm gonna narrow my eyes and look off into the distance. Wait, hold on. Now, I'm gonna take a sip of this whiskey and adjust my cowboy hat. Sorry! I've been watching The Big Lebowski lately and I wanna pretend that I'm the Stranger for a minute. Pretend that my voice is gravelly.

"Darlin', there ain't nothing you can do about it. Them there boys have no idea how to handle themselves around a beautiful woman such as yourself. Just be glad that it ain't your dude that's acting this way and be thankful that you aren't his main squeeze."

Did that help? Or, you can do what I do: laugh in his face, tell all of your friends what a creep he is and forward them all the dorky texts he sends you. That'll work too!

Have a question you'd like us to kinda sorta maybe answer? Send it along to hi@shmittenkitten.com and tell us what we can do to help.

ps- cheesesteak balls! haha. ick.

Bonerkiller: Belly Shirts On A Guy

Oh great. Courtesy of your short shirt, we now have front row seats to your wiry belly hair convention. Ewwwwww.

Unless he's ripped with washboard abs and he's playing a pick-up football game with his buddies on a sunny day, there is NO REASON a grown man should wear a belly shirt. That little strip of man tummy he flashes us when he reaches up to grab a cereal box on top of the fridge makes us cringe so hard that our eyebrows practically bend in half.

Look at that guy over there! He's acting like he's doing us a favor by tossing us a peek at his pale, clammy hips. We don't know if we should turn our heads in horror or bust in with an armpit tickle to teach him a lesson.

Listen all of you midriff exposing men out there, we're not asking for a lot here, just a shirt long enough to cover your body while you take a long stretch.

Class Notes: Wassup, Homies

It was a crazy fun week last week in Shmitten Kitten-land, so we wanted to update you about a few things.

• First, thank you to everyone who came out to our holiday dance party last night. We pretty much danced our asses off our asses. That's how much we danced. Also, it is confirmed that we have the most beautiful, best dressed, most radical readers ever. It was an absolute pleasure seeing all of your faces. Thanks to the Khyber for letting us run wild for a night. Thanks to Whipped Bakeshop for the phenomenal cupcakes; they were a hit. For everyone who couldn't make it, we'll definitely have more dance parties soon so don't fret. Just between us, word on the street is that we're gonna have a Valentine's Day dance party. Shhhhh! Details to come.
  
  

• Don't you hate it when a guy asks you out, but when you ask him where he wants to take you he shrugs his shoulders and says, "I don't know. Where do you want to go?" FUCK THAT! What are we, a social director on a cruise ship? I didn't realize this date invitation required me to bring a clipboard. Um, this is a date that you asked us on. Could you at least attempt to wow us? Well, as a social service to the clueless people out there, we are working on a Shmitten Kitten Field Guide to Dating in Philly outlining all the best places to both find a rad person and then where to take 'em on a first date. If you want to help us out and let us know which Philly hotspots we should highlight, kindly fill out this quick survey. Muchos gracias. 
  
  
• On a personal note, I want to thank Phillyist for the honor of being named one of Philly's Top 10 Not-So-Secret Superheroes. I never thought in a million years that I would find my name nestled in among the Bacon Brothers and Preston and Steve unless it was on a list detailing ten things that probably won't be on a list together. Regardless, it was a huge thrill for me to be recognized for our efforts the past year to bring more love to Philly. However, I'm not sure what makes me a superhero. Hmmm. Well, I do have the magical power to repel men with a single blog post. I can also screen phone calls using only my eyeballs and one finger. That's something, right? 

Beard v. Beard: Ralph Wins Second Annual Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE! Contest

For those of you who followed along, this was one of the closest races we've ever had in Shmitten Kitten history. It was (bearded) neck vs. (bearded) neck! We were on the edge of our seats the past few days because really, it was anyone's game. It was like when you pick which color is going to win the horse race on the Jumbotron during the break at Phillies' games. Just when you thought your color was gonna cinch it, another color swooped in and finished first. Yeah, it was just like that, except with human men.

Well, it was a close shave but, ultimately, 36% of you voted Ralph as Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE! Here he is, chillin' like a sexy dude villain.



Congratulations, Ralph. Your beard is the sexiest beard in Philly, hands down. But, Chris, don't feel bad. You are first runner-up! If for some reason Ralph is unable to fulfill his sexy duties--say he wears socks with sandals out in public or shaves the beard off--you will be first in line to assume his sexy dude duties. Since you fought such a good fight, we honored you, too.



Thanks so much to everyone that voted and campaigned for the fellas this week. Thanks to all of the guys who participated for being such good sports about the whole thing. We love you forever and ever.

Now that's it's all over, what are we gonna do with ourselves? Oh yeah, freakin' DANCE OUR ASSES OFF tomorrow night at the Khyber for our Holiday Dance Party. And, Whipped Bakeshop has been kind enough to provide cupcakes for the occasion which is like yummmmm x a trillion. Just to recap: we will have three amazing deejays and dozens of cupcakes. That's some math I can get behind. See ya there!

And The Nominees For Philly's Sexiest Dude ALIVE! Are...

First of all, thank you to everyone who submitted their choices for nominations. It was a tough decision to pick only five, as there were so many worthy candidates.

Ultimately, these guys were chosen because they make Philly a radder place to live. They contribute to our city in a variety of ways, from creating culture to covering it. So please vote for your fave dude on the poll at the top of the page. You can cast your vote for as many guys as you want, but you can only vote once and voting goes until Friday, Dec. 11th at 3pm. Then, we'll celebrate everyone at our Holiday Dance party on Saturday, Dec. 12th Upstairs at the Khyber.

Obviously, in the end, they are all winners. Not necessarily in this particular contest because this is a gladiator arena of online polling with only one man emerging victorious and we take that very seriously. Just kidding. No, really, all these men are winners and total good sports which makes us love them even more.

A few honorable mentions: Sexy deejay Sorted's Mike Z, sexy handsome dude Michael Bray, Sexy cool dude Jack McBrearty, sexy photographer Dominic Savini, sexy sweetheart Eric Zimmerman, the sexy comic staff at Brave New Worlds, sexy bartenders at the P.O.P.E., sexy ad men Jon and Ryan from TieOrDie.com, and sexy bar owner Robert from Tattooed Mom's. Hubba hubba. Maybe next year, fellas.

Ok, let's meet the men!

Sexy Musician Dude: Chris Ward

Who he is:
Chris is the drummer for Pattern is Movement and he books shows for Johnny Brenda's. Maybe you've seen him running around JB's doing show production as well. That means that he makes sure the bands get their hummus and clean towels. He's also a totally freakin' insanely nice man, but I'm not sure if that's on his resume, too. 

Why you should vote for him:
Not to sound like a creep, but we want to roll up into his beard like a Little Debbie Swiss roll and take a nap. And, have you gazed into his eyes? He looks like a goddamn teddy bear. He's seriously the best! We'd be happy to be his plus one any day of the week.

Sexy Media Mogul: Tayyib Smith

Who he is:
Print is far from dead. Want proof? Just check out any issue of two.one.five magazine, which Tayyib co-founded and publishes. Yes, publishes! How rad is that?

As anyone in Philly knows, two.one.five strives to cover all corners of the city in a unique and attention-grabbing way. There's no other publication like it in town and we're lucky to have it.

Why you should vote for him:
He pretty much knows everyone. We'll bet that he has the funniest stories and knows the best places to take you on your first date. And, get a load of that smile! We wanna print it out, enlarge it, and slap it on our alarm clock it because, honestly, how can you have a bad day if that's the first thing you see in the morning? Oh, and we heart his Tumblr, too.

Sexy Radical Dude: Eddie Austin

Who he is:
Eddie is a veritable jack of all trades. We'd bet money that you've already seen him bopping around town at one of his gigs, either as one half of the Rogerio Bros. hosting drunk spelling bees, or cheerfully kickin' you more coffee at Honey's or bartending karaoke parties at the Barbary. He's great at shooting polaroids and giving high-fives, too.

Why you should vote for him:
Um, he rules. He is unfailingly positive and as a bonus, he is super easy to spot in the crowd. Hugging him feels like falling into a pile of happy puppies. Also, his blog is hysterical. Two thumbs way up.

Sexy Ragtag Dude: Ralph Stollenwerk

Who he is:
As owner of a shirt and poster screenprinting shop called--what else--Awesome Dudes Printing, Ralph aka PinkBikeRalph, has been classing up the joint around here for a while. He runs an intellectual messageboard Crucial Brutal, which is about bikes, bands, and boobs, and sings for the band El Toro De Oro.

Sit down because there's more. He also is captain of the Brutaltron bicycle club and a mummer with the Mollywoppers N.Y.B. Really, does it get more quintessentially Philly than that?

Why you should vote for him:
LL Cool R. Do you blame them? Having him smile at you feels like slipping into a warm tub of maple syrup. Just trust us, it feels niiiiiice.