July 28, 2009

Dear Shmitten Kitten: Less Caviar, More Taco Bell

Dear Shmitten Kitten,
I'm dating this awesome guy who knows a ton of people and seems to have a connection everywhere. He's always offering a hook-up or a perk, which is very generous of him--and much appreciated by me. But I'm from the mean streets of Lower Bucks County where life is not exactly fancy.

How do I politely let him know that he doesn't have to be so generous? I mean, if I don't mind sitting in section 420 at Citizen's Bank Park, let's just enjoy the game from section 420. It's cheap! I just feel like Little Orphan Annie every once in a while in his world full of Benjamins.

Less Caviar, More Taco Bell

At first, our response was a really sarcastic, "Boohoo! You have a guy that you are attracted to who treats you like a princess. That must be SO HARD." Then, we did this mocking wiping-away-a-tear gesture. Truthfully, it was pretty condescending and we're glad that you didn't see us doing it.

Now that we've got that out of our system, we can empathize with you. It's a drag when scales are imbalanced in any relationship. Usually with us, it's that we want one and he doesn't. *rimshot noise*

It sucks you can't reciprocate his generosity. We hear ya. To make an awkward postal metaphor, if he's been giving you the first class treatment, it should be fine to suggest more ground shipping activities. One of our favorite dates was when our guy--well, one of our guys--took us for drinks on the 19th Floor of the Bellvue Hotel, then to dinner at Parc, then to drinks at McGlinchy's. It was the perfect mix of high-brow and low-brow; French cuisine to pints of Porter.

Suggest going somewhere more affordable. Or, just enjoy it while you can because eventually he'll get sick of paying for you and when it's your turn to chip in, it'll be pasta night with Netflix on Demand at your place. As Milli Vanilli would say, "Girl, you know it's true."

You might ask yourself, "Shmitten Kitten, what qualifies you to give such expert advice?" Well, if you haven't heard, some random Web site we never heard of ranked us as the #1 Twitter account to give dating advice to women. Yup, our half-assed answers to your questions are considered to be fully-assed by Datingonline.org. And, that's special to us.

If you have a question, drop us a line at hi@shmittenkitten.com. We will dispense our award-winning--or at least transparently link-baiting--advice to you free of charge 'cause that's just how we roll.


Dennis said...

Sometimes we feel like we HAVE to "put out" like that. I've been a little caught up in the trap myself, forgetting that it's more important that "she" likes me and not my connections or my imaginary wallet that I've inflated with 1's. (metaphor - I don't actually do that)

If you like the guy, just let him know he doesn't need to do that all the time. Basically, go with Anna's advice. If he's a decent guy, you should be able to talk to him without killing an oversensitive ego.

Jon Asher said...

I'm of the "suck it up" school of thought, personally. It won't last forever because it never does, so just ride the wave until it crashes on the shores of microwave diners and boxes of wine. If he's offering, there's no shame in accepting. He'll feel like he's the man, and you'll get to load up on expensive and colorful drinks without having to crack your purse.

bianca said...

I almost always feel uncomfortable accepting grandiose courting gifts. I think it's because as a teenager, my mom taught me to always be prepared to pay my own half so that I can't be guilted into putting out/ taken advantage of by a boy I'm out with, if that makes any sense. But once the relationship is established, there's nothing wrong with treating each other (re: both parties) to something special if you want to/ can afford it.

With this theme in mind (Caviar/TacoBell), Anna, you need to ask Lora about "The Collar" story and have her post about it!

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