You will find the following on him:
- A heavy shoulder bag full of assorted crap. The straps are extended so it hangs down by his knees. It looks saggy and onerous, which would be the same words I'd use to describe dating him.
- A button down shirt flapping over his huge beer belly.
- Cargo shorts with a ton of crap jammed in his pockets. Who needs this much storage? All that's in there are fast food receipts and gum wrappers.
- A wallet chain.
- Stupid tattoos on his calves. Like, a Luke Skywalker portrait or a panther scratching into his skin.
- The biggest offender? White ankle socks and Converse one star sneakers with fat white shoelaces. BARF!
And, I hate it when they attempt to hit on me because they have zero game and get really nervous and sweaty. I can tell that they have huge CD collections. I picture their houses and all I see are shag carpets, Twinkie wrappers and CD towers and it makes me do a body shudder. Uh, no thanks.