August 2, 2009

Guys Who Don't Want To Date Me ['90s Edition]: Ravers

Granted, I only dipped my toe in the rave scene for one summer in 1997 and it wasn't even my idea. I came home to Chicago the summer after my freshman year at college and, much to my chagrin, I found that a large portion of my punk friends had turned into pacifier-sucking, huge pants-wearing, glow stick-waving ravers while I was away at school. I resisted it at first, scoffing at their all-night parties. But, after a week of sitting around my parents house, I realized two things:
1. I missed my friends.
2. Staying out til the wee hours stomping around the city sounded like fun.
So, I relented and went to my first rave. I was blown away because everyone was so nice! People would just come up to me and give me hugs. (I would later find out that this might have been *ahem* a chemically enhanced sense of euphoria on their part, but since I was straightedge and naive, that never occurred to me.)

Unfortunately, I never dated a raver. The closest thing I had was when I cuddled with a random blond kid on a bean bag chair in a "chill out lounge." Big whoop (that's sarcastic.) I'd see dudes scurry around the dance floor, bobbing their heads to the beat but I'd never turn those heads. I could've swung glow sticks from my ta-tas, but I don't think that would've made a difference.

I even watched Hackers and enjoyed it. Apparently, laptop-wielding, rollerblading ravers did not turn me off. Alas, having a wide-legged pantsed Romeo was not in the subbaculture cards for me. Boo hoo, right?

Did any of you guys date a raver? They always seemed up for a good time, all the time. Did I miss out?


Jon K said...

You didn't miss much. It was essentially an excuse for sexually timid white kids from the suburbs to cut loose for the first time in their lives. Think of it as tongue-kissing boot camp. Collect the benefits now without paying too much mind as to where he perfected his craft.

Anna said...

Jon, you summed it up perfectly. Thank you for that.

Jon K said...

Hey, that's what I'm here for. If damn near everything I've ever done is cause for me to be either embarrassed or regretful, the least I can do is go all Sam Elliot and toss out a few morals from the bar stool haha.

loey said...

well in my limited experience they are super flaky but kiss great so it's kind of a tossup

Anna said...

Loey, haha! That's what I figured.

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