Normally, a mugshot would be a turn-off, as I try to make dating felons a rarity. But with you--a good boy gone bad--it adds an element of danger. You're a badass! You've been in bracelets, which is cop slang for handcuffs (according to The Wire, that is). Me likey.
You're a tough guy now: You stay up late, you eat ice cream for breakfast, and you flip the bird. What's next? Are you going to start smoking, asthma be damned? Are you gonna shoplift your deodorant from CVS? Are you going to draw vulgar pictures on public bathroom walls?
Who knew such a round fella could have so much edge?
You can't see me, but I have my thumb by my ear and my pinky by my mouth, mouthing the words "call me" right now.