There is no less than a quarter-inch of shampoo left in each of these crusty, dank plastic bottles. They're propped up on the edge of the tub like a police line-up. Here are the usual suspects: White Rain, Suave, V05, Fructis, and Selsun Blue. The worst worst worst is any kind of combined shampoo and conditioner product like Prell. Those are an affront to my tresses.
This isn't my first rodeo; I know that using any of these low-budget shampoos will turn my luscious locks into flat, lifeless straw. I'm not a shampoo snob--well, maybe I am--but, I'd rather use plain water than lather up with this moldy shampoo graveyard. You don't have to be a metrosexual Aveda freak, but a little bit of a higher-end shampoo would go a long way. They sell them at Target. Splurge.
That one cracked bar of plain white soap is making me feel like I'm sudsing up in a prison. Of course the rusty faucet only lets, like, two drops of water cascade down at a time so this is taking way too long. And, the only thing you have for facewash is a nearly-spent tube of St. Ives Apricot Scrub. It feels like I'm washing my face with gravel. I'm not interested in any of this. This whole shitshow shower makes me sad.