November 29, 2009

Bonerkiller: Litterbugs

Not to be too dramatic, but I find litterbugs utterly horrifying. I hate them with the intensity of a thousand middle fingers. Something about a guy who litters is so anathema to my soul, that I can't even handle it. When I see my date chuck his cigarette wrapping on the ground like the Earth is one big trashcan, I turn into that Native American with a lone tear streaming down his cheek.

What kind of guy litters? The worst kind of guy, that's who. They're right up there with guys who wear white athletic socks with squeaky new Reebok high-tops, guys who have ponytails and use massage oils, and guys who just got out of a long-term relationship and dick you around because they "don't know what they're ready for yet."

All of these men are terrible and all of these men should be shipped off the planet and sent to that fat people spaceship in Wall-E. Litterbugs, aw hell no!


Unknown said...

I think this deserves a big, fat AMEN sister! I think this one just barely edges out my hatred of spitting in public, but just barely.

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