January 8, 2010

I Feel I Failed to Impress You With This Mix CD

I don't think I'm alone in that I prescribe wholeheartedly to the Rob Gordon school of mixtape creation. As far as I can tell, it's one of the last real mating rituals of the modern age. The song selection has been painstakingly labored over for a period of several days. Once I'm happy with that, then I trim the fat to make sure the whole thing fits comfortably onto one compact disc.

Finally, the programming. Oh, the programming. I listen to the songs repeatedly to discern what song will transition into the next in the most appropriate way. Matching theme, key, intros to outros; it can take a while. And once it's completed, I've got to listen to it in its entirety at least once to make sure I didn't miss anything important. I'm not claiming I hit the bullseye every single time, but damn if I didn't try.

Once the CD is completed, it's time to make the cover. After a few attempts, I'm reasonably happy with what I've come up with. There are enough allusions to both of us, so you'll know every time you listen to it that I made it with you specifically in mind. "This is sure to win you over," I think confidently to myself. Finally, after much finessing, I'm done. I present it to you with my chest puffed out with pride because I'm sure you'll take one look at my highly personalized gift and go weak in the knees.

You'll flash me a polite smile and say "Thanks!" with all the enthusiasm you can muster as you unceremoniously toss it into the backseat of your car. Apparently, I have miscalculated the gravity of this gesture.

9 comments:

lizbelle17 said...

HA! I'm just reading High Fidelity at the moment, and my boyfriend has told me that he plans on making me a "mixed tape." But, there is no way that I would "unceremoniously" toss whatever CD he finally ends up giving me into the backseat of my car. I totally love the mixed tape idea. In fact, if I ever get my laptop in working order again, I just might make one for him too! :-)

Megan said...

I would probably take this as a bad omen for your relationship. As the giver and recipient of many agonized over mixtapes/CDs in my day, I'd say anyone to be so cavalier in the accepting isn't worth your time.

Blue Light J said...

This tends to happen to me; the girls I'm attracted to never seem to like the same kind of music I do. I try to make tapes witty and accessible, but I know that deep down, she'll never embrace my musical selections for her.

Noel said...

I just went through this process. The programming is what kills me. I'll listen to the first and last 5 seconds of the same tracks over and over while constantly rearranging the order, trying to find the perfect transition.

Mix tapes are serious business.

Anna said...

I am totally guilty of not giving a fuck about most guys' mix CDs for me. I toss them aside like whatever and then I hurt their feelings.

The only guy who really did great mix tapes for me was my high school sweetheart. I used to wear 'em out listening to 'em so much. He'd put FYP, Minor Threat, Weston, the Misfits, etc. on and I'd listen to 'em constantly. I still have them in a shoebox somewhere...

Phil said...

The best mix cd I ever received was made by another dude.

It wasn't a bromance, he just had really good taste in music.

Diane said...

If it makes you feel better, it's not just girls that don't appreciate the sincerity, effort and care put into a mix tape/CD. Back in the day, I made a few for my college boyfriend, and with each one the interest seemed to wane. I only made a few before I became discouraged and felt like a complete dork. He is a sweet guy, though. Nothing against him. Though if a guy made me a mix, I may very well just swoon. But I don't try to make mix CDs anymore... though I will put together a playlist on my computer I think would be great for background mood when I'm alone with a guy.

Kenny said...

I learned a very important lesson in the fall of 1994. I spent days creating a mix tape for the love of my 9th grade life. She loved the tape. She would always talk about it at the lunch table that year.

The problem?

While I was making this tape, Brad Wells was actually hanging out with her in real life and won her over. He didn't have to make a thing.

Dudes. Let's get real. That girl could give a crap about our mix. She has been giving all of them to her little brother.

It is time for the males of the world to man up and start courting these women. Clearly the mix tapes have NEVER worked.

Phil said...

Kenny wins for best comment of 2010 (so far).

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