January 28, 2010

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Lack Of Decent Mirrors

So, let me get this straight: I'm supposed to apply my eyeliner using the back of a Pulp CD as a mirror. Riiiiiiiight. Why aren't there any decent mirrors in this place? Are you sitting shiva? Are you the Beast from Beauty and the Beast and you can't stand to see your reflection? This is nuts!

I hate putting on makeup at your house. The only mirror in here is in the bathroom and it's dusty and streaked, like Hank Moody's Porche. Not to be a diva, but this mirror situation isn't working for me.

For instance, without a full-length mirror, I can't tell if my outfit looks presentable. When I get to work and take a good look at myself in the ladies' room, I realize that I could be Shakes the Clown's understudy! My shirt is askew. My buttons are buttoned weird. One pant leg is tucked into a sock. I'm surprised no one hauled me off to a mental institution because I clearly resemble an extra from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.

As a head's up, this is totally your fault. Seriously, they have mirrors at Target. They're not expensive. Invest in one.

9 comments:

Phil said...

So guilty of this in the past. If you ever want a girlfriend to stay at your place on any kind of regular basis, you gotta invest in a full-size mirror.

pattypunker said...

quality shampoo and conditioner would be nice too. that pert 2-in-1 just doesn't cut in on long hair.

Jon K said...

I thought you women were supposed to be in love with vampires

Lora said...

I've invested in a travel size battery-operated lighted makeup mirror for this exact reason. they should figure out how to make roll-up full length mirrors too.

Jon K said...

Maybe you could just carry a roll of tin foil with you

bianca said...

Classic short girl move: I've stood on closed toilets and the sides of tubs to merely see a portion of my upper body in at least every dude I've dated's apartment.

Jeanette said...

Yes. This is a real pisser-offer.

roboconcept said...

So your saying the post-apocalyptic mirror shard taped to the wall isn't awesome or attractive? I'm not sure I believe you.

shannonrmcgill said...

oh word. word to the third.

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