February 5, 2010

Bonerkiller Snooze Button Enthusiasts

It feels like I'm trapped in some slow, terrible version of Super Mario Brothers, except instead of hitting a brick with your head for a coin, you're tapping the snooze button every five minutes. Fucking stop. Please.

This happens every single morning. I have to hear that buzzer go off like I just got a question wrong in "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader." I AM smarter than a fifth grader and I can wake up on time with very little fanfare. I don't need a mean button yelling at me over and over again to do it.

The worst is that I see you groan, roll over and go right back to sleep. TEN TIMES. This snooze button is enabling you. It's the Tom Sizemore to your Heidi Fleiss. (Sorry, I've been watching a lot of "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew" lately.) I don't need to feel like I've just been caught shoplifting every five minutes before I've even had a sip of coffee! Just turn the damn thing off and wake up like a man.

10 comments:

Julia said...

Can we also add to this "Men who sleep till 1pm on the weekends" cause my bf does both and it makes me want to kill him

Lisatella said...

This....is me. The boy can't stand it. I don't blame him, but the bed is so warm......

Lenore said...

This seems really contradictory of the other post about how it's a bonerkiller if a guy wakes up early. You guys should really choose one or the other.

Slinky Redfoot said...

Tom Siezemore to your Heidi Fliess. Genius.

pattypunker said...

what slinky redfoot said.

Elyria said...

I have had this happen for sure. It was difficult living with him after it went off for about two hours in a row at least 3 days a week.

Anna said...

Lenore, how is it contradictory? On weekends, I like when they sleep in and chill out. On weekdays, I hate when they hit snooze repeatedly. Different behaviors on different days.

Lora said...

awwww man...I am SO guilty of this. But I have multiple alarm clocks strategically placed around my room and in the bathroom, all of which go off at three minute intervals as I stumble around hitting snooze on all of them and then crawl back into bed for another three minutes. This usually continues for an hour or so. Why any guy would ever want to sleep over during the week is beyond me.

Anna said...

OMG Lora, that's hysterical!

xSillyJilly24x said...

seriously. i HATE this. If you need to be out of bed at 645, don't set the alarm for 6am, hit snooze, wake up at 615, hit snooze, wake up at 630, and hit snooze again. You will get more sleep if you just set the alarm for 645 and get up the first time. What are you gaining by hitting snooze all those times? If the bed is so warm and you want to sleep in til 645 then just do it. No need to wake up 100 times before you wake up.

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