It feels like I'm trapped in some slow, terrible version of Super Mario Brothers, except instead of hitting a brick with your head for a coin, you're tapping the snooze button every five minutes. Fucking stop. Please.
This happens every single morning. I have to hear that buzzer go off like I just got a question wrong in "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader." I AM smarter than a fifth grader and I can wake up on time with very little fanfare. I don't need a mean button yelling at me over and over again to do it.
The worst is that I see you groan, roll over and go right back to sleep. TEN TIMES. This snooze button is enabling you. It's the Tom Sizemore to your Heidi Fleiss. (Sorry, I've been watching a lot of "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew" lately.) I don't need to feel like I've just been caught shoplifting every five minutes before I've even had a sip of coffee! Just turn the damn thing off and wake up like a man.