I swear to God, your neighbors must be wearing brick shoes and they all have to be at work by 7am seven days a week. Seriously, I can hear every little squeak they make above us. It's torture! How do you sleep like this? There's an entire family above our heads squawking around like angry turkeys. It's like they're re-enacting scenes from Children of Men up there!
Why do they have so much to say this early in the morning? How many times do they have to traverse their apartment? I can hear every movement they make. And the worst part is that you're immune to it. You're deep in REM sleep as I'm trying to stuff a pillow over my face to drown out the sound from the traveling circus above our heads.
Wait! Are they blasting "O.P.P."? *checks watch* It's 8:04am on a Saturday! WHO THE FUCK ARE THESE BRICK-SHOED, NAUGHTY BY NATURE-LOVING PEOPLE AND WHY DO YOU HAVE TO LIVE UNDER THEM?
I can't deal with your upstairs neighbors. And, that just makes me sad.