March 25, 2010

I Feel I Failed To Impress You With My Spinal Tap Jokes

I must've been misinformed because I was under the impression that guys love girls who love Spinal Tap. And, I thought the fact that I memorized roughly two-thirds of Spinal Tap's dialogue would one day sweep a man off of his feet.

I had a bit of a Cinderella scenario in my head; I'd mutter something about how "mime is money," and he'd take my hand and march me down to the jewelry store to buy our wedding rings. 

It has not turned out that way. At all.  
  • "Shark sandwich? Two words: Shit sandwich."
  • "None more black."
  • Turning things up to 11
  • Deli meat freakouts backstage
  • Tiny Stonehenge
  • "Talk about mudflaps, my girl's got 'em."
No wrinkle of a smile? No knowing nod? No immediate declaration of love at my display of Spinal Tap savvy? Nothing!

SOMEONE LIED TO ME! If I can't land a man based on my ability to recite lines from a rockumentary spoof made over twenty years ago, then there is no god. *shakes fist at the sky*


Phil said...

I've never seen it. I know, I fail.

melanie said...

I could never be with someone who didn't understand my drive to work in a haberdasher or a chapeau shop.

Anonymous said...

But your sense of humor does impress me. And your cuteness and tallness. And your fantastic ordering skills. Calm down girl, you've done plenty to impress. No need to study random cult films. Let's just get along as equals having fun together and connecting calmly in this crazy crazy world.

Elizabeth said...

Yeah... Reciting lines from Spinal Tap just SCREAMS that you had way too much time on your hands in high school/college.

Lisatella said...

You can't exactly dust for vomit

Anna said...

Elizabeth, I didn't watch Spinal Tap until I was 25, well out of college. So, I guess I had way too much time on my hands after school when I had a boring 9-5 job? Sounds about right.

Hey, we had to watch SOMETHING when we're nursing our hangovers, right?

Erfs said...

But this one goes to 11.

Anonymous said...

you try way too hard

Lora said...

Lick My Love Pump!!!

Elizabeth said...

Anna: Yeah, I watched it in early high school, and I still know a few jokes.

Also, I realize that comment sounded offensive. I totally know the lines to like 100 other nerdy movies!

Anonymous said...

"There's a fine line between clever and stupid"... I don't even know if that's the line, but I just about fell off my porch when when I first heard a girl use it with devastating rightness. It works so well to explain much in life.

Anonymous said...

don't worry about it. People spontaneously combust all the time, it's just not widely reported.

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