March 26, 2010

Bonerkiller: Guys Who Have To Sleep With The TV On

It's always a bummer when we both climb into bed then he reaches for the remote.

"Oh, hey. As a head's up, I gotta sleep with the TV on."

That's a nose-crinkler for me. Grrrrreat. "Whatever," I mumble. I mean, what am I gonna do? Argue with the guy? Technically, I'm a guest in his house. In the interest of being a good sport, I'll agree to give this TV thing a whirl.

However, I will come to regret that decision. As he's chasing Zs in deep sleep, without fail, I'll wake up in the middle of the night with the drone of informercials zipping between my ears. No, I don't want to hear about the benefits of Oxy-Clean right now. What the fuck time is it? Ugh. I'll hover in and out of consciousness until the TV is just too much for me to take.

Now, it has become my mission in life to turn this TV off. But, where the hell are the remotes? Oh, here's one. Wait, is it for the cable box or the television? I think I just turned the DVD player on. Fuuuuuuuck. I'm basically in my own personal version of The Hurt Locker.

All I wanted was to stay over and snuggle this cute dude but now I'm rummaging through his nightstand flicking various electronics on and off like an irritated zombie at Best Buy. Grrrrr x a million.

13 comments:

Lenore said...

finally! something i can agree on!! :D

Anna said...

Yay!!!!!

hexo said...

I used to sleep with This American Life archives playing, but that was a time when I couldn't stand myself or being alone. Having grown out of it, I don't think I could deal with even music playing, let alone a TV!

Diane said...

Oh my God, seriously! Amen, Anna!! I can't even fall asleep. The TV keeps distracting my brain too much, no matter what is on, no matter how tired I am. Argh!

Anonymous said...

Ugh, this is almost a dealbreaker for me and perhaps means that this dude is too stuck in his single ways if he can't turn off the damn TV when I stay over! What really gets me is when he has a TV in every damn room in his apartment. I doubt that he'll be able to make me a priority over his love for "Road Rules/Real World Challenge." Sigh.

Anonymous said...

i have to have the T.V on to fall asleep but my remote has a sleep timer on it so i can set the t.v to turn off after a certain amount of time. It works brilliantly.

Anna said...

Cool! What a great compromise!

Anonymous said...

It is just a stunning mark of immaturity and inconsiderateness (not to mention sheer energy wastefulness) that someone would claim he needs a TV going ALL NIGHT to sleep. What does this little shitstain do when he stays somewhere without a TV? Does he even pay his own electric bill? Also, this is not normal. Really, some of the blame goes to you, Anna, for not speaking up and saying: no, this is not cool, this is not the adult behavior of a man who wants other people sharing his bed. Failing that, you should have woken the fucker up to help you turn the TV off.

Anna said...

I can see why you'd direct blame at me, but I'm not buying it. I'm a guest in his house. He told me that he needs it. I'm not gonna fight about it, especially then. If anything, I'd bring it up later when we aren't in the moment. But, he's an adult and he can have whatever he wants when he sleeps. Maybe I'm too accommodating. I've been called worse things.

However, when he stays at MY HOUSE, none of this tv-on-all-night shit is gonna fly.

Rich said...

Darn. I haven't really done much bonerkiller behavior til this one. I always sleep with the tv on, but I will admit when a girl comes over to spend the night (trust me this is not very often), I do defer to her if she wants it off. Actually, I usually opt for music instead. So, I agree with you-- kinda lame if the guy does it while you're with him.

Anonymous said...

i cannot pass out without putting on some episodes of a tv show. but i play them on my computer so everything shuts down nice & quietly when the playlist runs out. embarrassingly, i got my current girlfriend addicted to doing the same so i'm spreading my crappy habits. [sad trombone] whomp-whomp.

Anna said...

That's not as bad as putting on TV as a white noise. You're at least watching something, not just having something on for the sake of having it on.

Anonymous said...

I dated a guy that HAD to keep the TV on adult swim to fall asleep. Does anyone know what comes on that channel at 3am? Unfortunately I do.

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