March 18, 2010

Things In His House That Make Me Glad: Toothbrushes Galore!

I will put up with a lot of shit in a guy's house--scratchy Ikea sheets, lumpy comforters that don't even keep me warm, one-ply TP--but, I can overlook a lot of these things if he offers me a new toothbrush like it ain't no thang. 

It doesn't need to be fancy. It doesn't need to spin around or have special comfort grips; just any old toothbrush is cool. Soft bristles are preferred, but I'm not gonna argue about that. A clean, new toothbrush is great any way you slice it.  

Here's the thing: I'm not always prepared to spend the night. Maybe I didn't want to assume anything was gonna happen, maybe my purse was small and I didn't want to pack a bunch of toiletries that may or may not be used. You know?

So, when he has a new toothbrush for me, I appreciate the gesture. And for the three seconds when I'm opening up the packaging, I'm thinking about how happy I am that I met such a radical guy. The other bonus part is that it's not weird that I have a toothbrush at his place. He gave it to me! I don't have to try and sneak it in, hoping that he doesn't get weirded out that our 'brushes are co-mingling before we're officially offical.

Personally, I think it's classy when guys have new toothbrushes on hand to give out. It's like when you get a free pack of cards on a flight; you'd be okay without them, but that little touch makes you enjoy your time with them that much more. I'm rubbing my eyes: Is this JetBlue or his crummy bathroom? I couldn't tell for a minute because he was giving me complimentary gifts just for showing up!

Guys, go to the dollar store and stash a handful of cheap toothbrushes somewhere. I'm telling you, girls will be thrilled about it. Trusssssst me on this.

9 comments:

Jenni said...

Truthfully, I feel like I would be put off by a guy with a stash of tooth brushes. To me that means he is constantly trying to have chicks over to show 'em his 'brushes. You know what I mean? Maybe it's just the jealous girlfriend in me, but that seems a little too smooth operator-esque.

al said...

As a dude who usually has an extra, new toothbrush around, I can definitely say this backfires more than it bonerfies. More often than not, offering a toothbrush that I have overly handy is followed by a lengthy, backpedaling explanation about how I buy the two-packs because I'm an efficient fellow and not because I like to send my semi-weekly bangs home with a parting gift.

Anna said...

Jenni, I hear you. But, in this situation, he's not gonna open a secret door filled with thousands of toothbrushes. He's just gonna pick one out of a random drawer and be like, "Hey, here ya go," all casual. Maybe his mom bought him a shit-ton as a lame Christmas present. You never know!

It's like, I don't wanna SEE his Costco-sized box of Trojans and I don't want to see him stick his hand in the box like a kid in a treasure chest after a check-up at the dentist, but it's nice when he has some on him and just produces it out of thin air. This is the only kind of acceptable magic in the bedroom.

Al, these girls sound lame and insecure. For instance, I have extra toothbrushes around my bathroom just 'cause I shop at the dollar store with my grandma every now and then, and they sell, like, three for a dollar. it's not a calculated thing, just nice to have extra in case friends crash or something.

al said...

I certainly would never argue with you there. Once a woman left an English Cucumber in my fridge; a week later it wasn't there an she flipped out. Apparently, she immediately decided the logical explanation was that I had put it IN another woman, you know, instead of the millions of extremely simple, plausible explanations such as, "I ate it," or "it went bad and I tossed it."

I'm just sayin' ... bitchez be crazy, and you don't know until you know... ya know?

Phil said...

Big fan of extra toothbrushes. Everyone should stop reading into things and GET TA BRUSHIN'!

Anonymous said...

i agree about not reading into things however but when i had a pack of toothbrushes in my bathroom, it meant that i (and my roommates) was sleeping with a bunch of dudes, NOT that i buy in bulk...

citygalwrites said...

This is where the term "leave-behind" comes into play. I love it when a man realizes that I can't pack a toothbrush in my clutch purse due to all that other "in-case" stuff I pack when I think we might, well, ya know.

Jessica said...

I think an important follow-up question here is: What do you do with the toothbrush after it's been used?

In my case, I offered a new toothbrush to a guy I've been sleeping with a few times now, and he thankfully used it and then put it back into its packaging. Left it on the bathroom counter. After he left, I put it into my medicine cabinet for the next time, thinking it'd be a bit presumptuous to put it in my toothbrush cup with my own brush.

What do you think? What do YOU do?

Helen said...

I'm with Phil and Anna on this one, have enough drunk kids crash on your couch and it becomes habit to buy toothbrushes in bulk.

Post a Comment