Oh my god, I hate your computer. No one owns a Dell on purpose unless you're an NYU student in 1997. Just typing my username into Gmail feels like I'm playing a sticky instrument. Ewwww!
Does this piece of shit only run Internet Explorer? What, do you have a Yahoo! toolbar too? I feel like I'm at a temp job using this thing. I'm trying to check my email and I keep getting these flashing alerts about Norton being expired. I hate this!
This must have been a hand-me-down from an uncle or something. Maybe it was swiped off a curb after someone tossed it. There's no way that you walked into a store and willingly purchased this machine in the past five years. Tell me that you didn't willingly purchase this.
Don't give me that look. I'm not a computer snob, I swear. But, if the computer world was likened to transportation, using this computer feels like taking a Greyhound bus cross-county with no pee breaks allowed. It's just gross.