August 26, 2010
Maybe I'm quickly slappin' on some lip gloss and I want to spring out of the bathroom like "TA-DA!" (my lips are poppin'). If he barges in mid-application, it kinda ruins the entrance for me. All I'm asking for is a minute or so of privacy to freshen up.
One might think that the simple solution would be to lock the door. But when I do, he thinks it's funny to pound on it and ask what I'm doing like a whiny five-year-old. Sometimes he even pretends he's a zombie scratching at the door yelling "braiinnnss!" Try applying mascara on the toilet and fighting off an intruder at the same time! It's impossible. It's gotten to the point where I'm strategically sneaking off to the bathroom when his favorite TV show is on so I know he won't bother me for a few moments.
I should mention that the bathroom in his warehouse apartment has walls that only go up about 9 feet even though the ceiling is much higher than that, so he can basically hear me every time I tinkle. One time he climbed on a ladder to look over the walls and said "Boo!" and thought it was soooooo hysterical. Ha fucking ha. Next time he's getting a plunger to the face.
What is it about guys that think it's so hilarious to interrupt a girl in the powder room? I don't need another younger brother! What is it that they think we're doing in there? Does he not realize that he's turning my 90 second beauty routine into a much longer ordeal? Is it pure curiosity? Or is it really just that much fun to annoy me?