That's when I met my guy's inner Hulk: "BISCUIT! WHAT DID I TELL YOU? GET THE HELL OFF THE COUCH! GET DOWN, NOW! BAD BOY!" As he yanked at the dog's collar, I cowered between the cushions. Who is this man? He's a million miles away from the adorable guy who shared dessert with me an hour ago.
"Sorry 'bout that. He knows he's not supposed to jump on the couch." As the words left his mouth, the dog whipped his thick tail, almost knocking my dude's wine glass out of his hand too.
"THAT'S IT! BISCUIT, GO TO YOUR CAGE. NOW! GO ON, GET!" He stomped over to his cage, locked the mutt in, then resumed his place on the couch, his veins still bulging on his neck.
"Whew! Where were we. I think you were talking about the time you went to Italy? Please, continue." He acted like nothing happened, like screaming at an animal is as normal as blowing his nose.
I didn't want to continue shit. This Jekyl/Hyde screamer/wine sipper thing was too much for me to handle. Sorry, but I shouldn't hear a guy scream angrily on a first date: It's a little rule I have. I was straight-up rattled by his outburst. After that, no amount of Sigur Ros could've calmed the vibe down because it was totally ruined. Dog screamers, at least wait until I've left the room to punish your pet!