October 13, 2010

I Love Love Love Former Paperboys

I don't remember how it came up in conversation, but hearing him talking about his days as a paperboy way back when made me practically hyperventilate. I'M IN THE PRESENCE OF A REAL, LIVE (former) PAPERBOY, EVERYBODY!

As an avid Paperboy game player on my old skool Nintendo, I hold nothing but the highest respect for paperboys. Playing that game for hours on end during my braces-having years taught me the rigors of his chosen pre-teen profession. Dodging rabid dogs, avoiding newspaper-shaking grandmas, and popping wheelies: he's the real suburban commando here. He probably made 30 cents a day and spent his money on baseball cards or some shit. SO CUTE, right?

I love the fact that he's a former paperboy. Picturing him as a sleepy sixth grader peddling around on a Huffy tossing papers on porches at sunrise warms my cold, bitter heart. When he told me that he used to listen to Iron Maiden on his Walkman during his route, I wanted to "awww" myself to death. That's the fucking cherry on the too adorable sundae.


Erika Sundeen said...

Paperboy? That's pretty adorable. I just think all those wholesome, All-American, little kid things guys used to do are so cute. He was a boy scout? Aww! He played Little League? Aww!

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