January 21, 2011

Real Talk: This Stupid Date Is Taking Too Long To Plan

Isn't there a quicker way to do this?
Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I don't wanna wait more than a week from the idea of a date with a human man to the execution of said date with the same human man. Any longer and I can feel my interest dwindle substantially.

The worst offender was this guy who--no joke--took two months to get his shit together to follow through on planning our magical first date. He had this habit of calling me to say that he was going to call me to plan it. He did that FOUR TIMES! Do you realize what that means? It means that he had to be mentally prepared to call my number and make sure that he was in a quiet spot with adequate cell reception FOUR TIMES. That's an egregious volume of date-planning related cold calls! It's too many.

Let me impress upon you how stupid this was: Cartons of milk had already spoiled in the time in took for him to pull the first-date trigger. Eight episodes of a Showtime Original program had been aired in the time it took to figure out which night we were going to grab a fucking drink. New Employees of the Month had been chosen at the local Target in that time. It was madness!

By the time our first date rolled around with all of its ridiculous buildup, I had forgotten why I wanted to go out with him in the first place. Really, it's best to pounce sooner rather than later on these kinds of things when both my enthusiasm and his picture in my mind are still fresh.


Anonymous said...

Could not agree more. I'll give 'em a week of flirty texts before abandoning ship. I'm waiting on date 3 with a dude I met Christmas Night. If he had called to get together the next day, I'd probably have given him a nice little Christmas Gift. But now? I'm bored. Yes, men. Even ladies get bored.

Dan Tabor said...

This post was amazing. So true.

Anonymous said...

When a dude doesn't do what he says he's gonna do I shut down.

Anonymous said...

yeah this totally happened tome and the guy is LAME. ladies, take note. the, oh but he might actually be cool give a chance crap, doesn't apply here. if it takes him that long, he will always be lame.

Anonymous said...

Yeah. A couple of years ago I had a great conversation with some dude who then eagerly text-pursued me for two months, blowing off casual invitations to meet me for a drink until he was done with training someone to take over his craaazy job. I'd forget about him periodicallly, assuming it was a lost/lame cause, and he'd start up the texting again. The day his job ended, so did his texting. Scaredy Ween.

Anonymous said...

It took me a million guys like this to finally just walk away whenever it takes more than a week or two. Either that, or I'll call him myself to plan it, because, you know, 2011, y'all.

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