February 21, 2011

Things I'm Terrible At: Dating Two Guys At Once

Remember when Alex P. Keaton had two dates to the prom?
He sucked at this too.
This has only happened to me a few times, but one thing I've learned is that I'm not mentally agile enough to date two guys simultaneously. It's hard enough to get to know one guy, but any more than that and everything becomes a jumbled mess of random facts and places that I will confuse at inopportune moments.

I can't keep anything straight: Is this the one that has the shellfish allergy or was it the other guy? Is this the guy with two sisters or is he the one with four brothers? Is this the one who studied abroad in France or is this the one that's never been on an airplane?

I'll even slip up a few times and say, "Let's grab some ice cream." And, he'll say, "Anna, you know I don't eat dairy. I've told you that a million times" Then I'll mumble, "Oh! You're the one that is lactose intolerant. Right." It's totally obvious that I'm a fuck-up at this.

And, frankly, it takes too much time to juggle two guys. Quizzo on Thursday with the first guy. Dinner on Friday with the second guy. Dinner on Saturday with the first guy again. So many meals, so many drinks, so many conversations to potentially mess up: Who has this much time to devote to seeing men anyway?

Count me out. I prefer to ruin one relationship at a time; ruining two at once is like fighting a war in Iraq AND a war Afghanistan and how dumb would that be?


teenie said...

oh man, seriously? I gotta tell ya, dating more than one guy at once (at times getting up to 3 or 4, oh yes) was my saving grace. it completely eliminated my tendency to obsess over each dude, and helped me keep my standards high. (I pushed myself to do it after reading part of a horrible book, called something like "find love in 90 days" or something similarly heinous - the book concept was bad, but that tip was pure dating gold)

Anna said...

Oh, I could SEE a ton of guys at the same time if it's casual, but I can't date two guys if I have feelings for them both. It freaks me out too much.

kate b. said...

the day i realized i was incapable of dating two guys at once was the day i ran into one when i was out on a date holding hands with the other... that was awkward

Ashley said...

This is why I refuse to hold hands in public, unless he's the only one I'm seeing.

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