May 23, 2011

Just Between Us, He Does NOT Need To Wake Up To Me Tomorrow Morning

Dude. We've all been there.
You ever have one of those days where you meet a friend for Saturday brunch which leads into a mid-afternoon hang in the park which leads into an evening bbq which then leads into getting rowdy at a dance party? I have. Especially now that the weather is getting warmer, this is like, every weekend.

I didn't plan to be out all day and you can tell. When I popped into the bathroom at the end of the night to pee before I went to see about a guy, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I gasped. I looked like the Blair Witch or some shit: My hair was frizzy and knotted, my eyeliner was half-flaked off, I had a mustard stain on my dress. Shudder. Did I mention that my armpits smelled like a Tallahassee gutter? Because they did.

I can already tell that I have to take my ass home because if I look like a hot mess now, I'm sure as shit not gonna look any better in the morning. At the minimum, I need to wash my make-up off and brush my teeth before I'd consent to any kind of slumber party. What I really need is at least a shower, a swipe of undereye concealer and a high-end detangler conditioning treatment before I'd let any guy come near me.

Sure, it seems like a good idea to keep the party going back at some guy's place, but I can tell already that I will look like hell come daylight. NO ONE NEEDS TO SEE THIS! You hear me? NO ONE! He seemed disappointed when I broke the news that I was just gonna head home at the end of the night, but trust me, I did him a huge favor.


Anonymous said...

Woo! I'm from Tallahassee.

gatorgirl said...

haha i came to comment about the tallahassee comment too! except i was gonna say, all of tallanasty is a gutter ;D

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