|His celebrity crush looks NOTHING like me!|
"Oh man. I gotta go with Christina Ricci. I've always had a thing for her."
"You mean the short girl with the huge forehead?"
"Well, in case you haven't noticed, I'm supertall and I have a small forehead."
"It's not that small."
"Yes it is. It's the approximate height of a king-sized Snickers bar." I placed my fingers an inch apart on my forehead to illustrate that it was indeed the height of a king-sized Snickers bar.
"Well, which era of Christina Ricci's career are we talking about? Like, Wednesday Adams, Sleepy Hollow, Buffalo 66, Black Snake Moan?"
"Definitely Buffalo 66-era Christina Ricci. She was pretty in that."
"Um, you mean the one where she's BLONDE?" I gave him a look.
"I guess. So?"
"So!? Your celebrity crush looks nothing like me."
"I'm not blonde! You know who my celebrity crushes are? Michael J. Fox, the guy who plays Vince's manager on Entourage whose name escapes me right now, and Jason Schwartzman: short dudes with short hair. These are all guys that look like you."
"Jason Schwartzman has hairy knuckles. I don't have hairy knuckles."
"I happen to find his voice soothing."
"This is the stupidest argument we've ever had."
"You will never understand how women think."