June 19, 2011

My Life As Told Through Parks And Recreation

I like this guy. He seems nice.

We'll go out on a date. No problem there, right?

We could get some drinks.

Maybe go out dancing a bit. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

Well, on our date I was so nervous that I got wasted.

Shit got kinda crazy.

Like, REALLY crazy.

And we made out like idiots all over the place.


What should I do? Play it cool?

I waited five days and I still haven't heard from him.

FUCK THAT! We had a great time together! What's his problem?

So I called and left a friendly, upbeat voicemail message just to say hi because texting is for dorks.

Aaaaaaand, he didn't call back.

Great. Now I'm gonna be sick.

I should've let it go at that point, but I didn't. In a moment of weakness, I drunk emailed him something flirty. WTF is wrong with me?!?

Aaaaaand, he didn't write me back.

Oh god, I'm the worst! Why do I do this to myself?

Don't laugh. I feel like a bozo.

I know it's not the end of the world.

I'll be okay in a few days once I get my dignity back.

But I'm never going near alcohol, men, a telephone or a computer again.

That's a reasonable solution, right?


Julia H. said...

Drunk Ron Swanson dancing may be my favorite gif of all time.

Laura said...

this is the one of the most brilliant posts i've ever come across...thank you!

Chef said...

Anna, BRILLIANT! Ugh, so relatable. Too relatable.

hess said...

nice one. this is some hilarious b.s.

Andrea said...

It's like you read my mind.


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