July 2, 2011
It sucks because I know that there's a cute guy buried under that shitty beard and stained t-shirt! But, some guys get a kick out of appearing as unkempt as possible, like they're daring women to deal with it and I resent that.
I dated a guy once who had a bet going with his best friend about who could go the longest without showering. As you could imagine, I was not pleased with this bet. He didn't care. He had this attitude like, "If you love me, you'll love all of me all the time no matter what I do." He seemed to get great joy out of testing me on that premise and he'd use it as an excuse to behave like a dirtball. Well, it turned out that I loved men who showered on the reg: sue me!
This guys needs a haircut, a shave, and a quick swipe with an Axe product for me to consider high-fiving him. The one minute he looks semi-acceptable is when he's wading around in a swimming pool because I'm reasonably confident that if he's not clean, the chlorine is at least killing whatever is growing on him. I'm sure there's some girl out there who will find his slob act charming, but like Bob Dylan sang, it ain't me, babe.