August 22, 2011

Bonerkiller: Guys Who Think They're Being Profound When They're Not

This is gonna sound harsh, but this guy is not as profound as he thinks he is. I let a few things slide in the beginning of our courtship because I found the way he'd rattle off his deep thoughts amusing. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, hoping he was trying to impress me by stringing these seemingly half-baked thoughts together so I played along.

But now it's a few weeks in and I'm realizing that he's not trying to impress me so much as he's trying to let me know that he's more intelligent than me. And, I can't stand it especially since his thoughts aren't that deep!

For example, he once told me that, "the problem with most people is that they just can't understand the trajectory we're on as a planet. It's like, I wish people would just realize that time isn't forever even though it can feel like it is, you know?" My eyes glazed over just typing that. I'm pretty sure that he just wanted to say the word "trajectory" in conversation.

The few times I engaged him and offered a counterpoint opinion, it didn't end well. He became annoyed with me, like I couldn't grasp his genius. There is nothing even remotely genuis going on here. It's a genius-free zone, bud. Anyone can say some words out loud while squinting and looking off into the distance; that doesn't mean shit! I wish I could just shove a sock in his piehole sometimes. How's that for a profound thought?

8 comments:

Sara said...

Oh man, I feel you. My favorite are online profiles written in a way that's all poetic and deep -- how they feel most at home in nature because that's how they feel connected to themselves, and more than anything they want to make a mark on the world, how they have all of these hobbies to unleash their overflowing creativity...they are so unique and special, they can't be described in just a paragraph.

I can describe them in one word: douchebag.

Anonymous said...

Said guy also will only listen to 'deep' music like Leonard Cohen even on a sunny summer day, when the soundtrack clearly calls for Poison

Bubs said...

There was an earthquake today.

Anonymous said...

http://i.imgur.com/APssK.gif

Anna said...

HAHA! That gif is hilarious!

fille en ville said...

We must be meeting the same guys.

Anonymous said...

Do you know where else there is a genius free zone? YOUR VAGINA. No smart guy would do you.

Anonymous said...

I don't have a problem with guys who want to talk about weird or deep abstract thoughts like your example. I think those come out of a need for some intellectual bullshitting or debating with someone they think isn't going to personally judge them (I guess he was wrong!). If you don't like that kind of stuff, fine, not your kind of guy.

...but the other thing you touched on here:
I do have a problem with guys who want to show you how super smart they are by telling you all about , that thing you couldn't possibly have heard of before! ...and on top of that the guy doesn't even know what he's really talking about because he only briefly skimmed over some blog or Wiki article. "Mansplaining" I think they call it. Try to tell them they're incorrect about something and they will assume the most condescending attitude ever. Punch them in the balls.

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