August 11, 2011

Story Time: What Should Be The Dating Commandments?

Last night I wrote on the Shmitten Kitten Facebook page, "They must've ran out of room for the 11th commandment, "Thou shall not cockblock." I cracked myself up with that one.

But, it did get me thinking: what should be written as the dating commandments?
  • Thou shall not text an emoticon unironically
  • Thou shall not wear an overly funky belt buckle
  • Thou shall not obsessively check a cell phone on a first date
  • Thou shall make a reasonable effort to smell pleasant
  • Thou shall honor our waiter or waitress
  • Thou shall give me a dollar for the jukebox
  • Thou shall not leave me at the table alone to smoke a cigarette outside
  • Thou shall introduce me to any of your friends we run into
  • Thou shall not have chapped lips
Any others you can think of? Leave 'em in the comments.


Sara said...

Thou shalt not have dragon breath.

marjorie said...

Thou shalt not abruptly put your dick in my face.

Thou shalt not tell me you want to keep it casual and then get disappointed when I don't want to spend the night.

Becki said...

Thou shalt not be super keen for three weeks and then suddenly drop off the edge of the planet

Thou shalt not kiss me and then say "aww, sorry this isn't fair because you're my second choice"

Thou shalt not, whilst making out, forget where my mouth is but continue to give a generous ammount of tounge

(All of the above, sadly, from experience)

mmaggiee said...

Thou shalt enjoy speaking and listening with equal gusto.

Anonymous said...

Thou shall open the car door for me.

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with emoticons? :)

Anonymous said...

Thou shalt not vacillate for two minutes/look at the bill like it's on fire.

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