Things I'm Terrible At: Competing For A Guy's Attention

When it comes to vying for a man's attention, I'm the least competitive girl on the planet. My heart's not in the fight. Honestly, when I think about trying to compete for a guy's attention, to paraphrase the song, "there's a whole lot of shruggin' goin' on."

In grade school, if I learned that another girl had a crush on the guy I liked, I'd get over him instantly. "You can have him," I'd tell her (in my mind) as my feelings for him dwindled down to nothing. Frankly, I was happy to surrender my crush to a more eager party.

It wouldn't even need to be confirmed that another girl had a crush on him; hearing it through the grapevine was all it'd take for me to throw in the attraction towel. I'll relinquish my feelings for him before the sentence, "I heard that she likes him too," was finished. Fuck it! She can have him and they can get married and have babies for all I care. 

I'll never understand women who feel compelled to compete for a guy's attention. Who has the energy for it? Just thinking about trying to sustain his focus makes me wanna take a nap. Y'all can have him, ladies. I'll focus my energy on the short dude in the corner who's here with his two best friends and looks slightly terrified at the idea of talking to me instead. He's more my speed anyway.