March 22, 2012

According To My Calculations, We Should Be In Love

Good news! I've crunched the numbers and according to my calculations, we are destined to--hold on, let me find it. I wrote it here somewhere. Ah, found it: "Fall in love and live happily ever after."

No, it's true. I have my work written down:
(your interest in Neil deGrasse Tyson x my low-cut red dress x your willingness in joining a CSA this summer x your half-Jewish heritage) / (my tolerance for your morning breath - your roommate's cat - your scratchy bedsheets) + (our mutual enjoyment of Mexican food + your above average grammar in your texts + dancing in your kitchen to Otis Redding songs + your expressed desire to start homebrewing your own beer + that time you mumbled about how you thought my hair was sexy when you were drunk and I said "What?" and you said "Nevermind, I'm wasted") = TRUE FUCKING LOVE! 
Ha! I guess a congratulations are in order? Do you wanna hug? I think we should hug. This is really exciting. Are you gonna change your FB status first or should I? No, wait. WE SHOULD DO IT TOGETHER AT THE SAME TIME. How cute would that be? So cute, right? Oh my god. I can't wait to meet your sister. She sounds so rad. I hope she likes me. She'll like me, right? I'm sure she will.



Solo4114 said...

I remember that Britannica commercial!!

I know people who actually think like this -- that love/romance can be boiled down to some equation involving a laundry list of shared interests, where sufficient overlap of interests guarantees success to a mathematical certainty.

Personally, I've always been partial to the "negotiation" approach (demonstrated here:, as far as manufactured romance is concerned. While in this case the parties can't quite come to an arrangement, just think of the possibilities if it did work!

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