March 5, 2012

Quick Rant: I Can't Believe I Still Know His Schedule By Heart

One of the worst parts about breaking up is having my ex's life schedule memorized. Great, now I know the hours he works, how he goes to his brother's house to watch the game every Sunday afternoon, and that he hits up his favorite dive bar every Saturday night. I know that he plays softball on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturday afternoons. And, I know that he hits up happy hour with his best friend on Friday nights.

I wish I could take a pill and forget all knowledge about his habits, but I can't. It's etched in my brain like a shitty engraved iPod. On one hand, it's pretty easy to avoid him because I know his habits. But, it also sucks donkey balls because I'm constantly calculating where he might be.

So, when I see that he's online on Facebook at 3am on a Thursday morning, my first thought is, "What's he doing up this late? He has to go to work in six hours." Then that immediately leads to, "Is he talking to someone? Is it a new girl? Is she pretty? She's probably pretty. Oh god, I hate everything so much right now." Then, I calm myself down by reasoning that he probably just fell asleep with his laptop open because he always goes to quizzo on Wednesday nights so he probably got too tipsy, came home, and passed out. See what I mean? I HATE THAT I KNOW THIS! Ugh! Make it stop!  

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