June 4, 2012

Bonerkiller: When He Brings His Friend Along On Our First Date

First dates can be stressful. I get that. Personally, if I'm nervous before our first date, I do a shot of whiskey so I'm not some awkward ball of nerves constantly checking my hair in cars' windows before we meet up. A little bit of whiskey takes the edge off. That's fine.

What's not fine is if he picks me up with his best friend sitting shotgun in the front seat grinning like he's going out for ice cream after winning his Little League game. Are you fucking kidding me? Now I gotta make small talk with TWO guys for the next three-ish hours? This is a nightmare.

He probably figured it'd reduce his stress level if he had his buddy by his side, but that doesn't mean that he gets a free pass to bring along the human equivalent of a blanky to our first date. I'd love to bring my best friend to our stupid first date too, believe me. But like a normal person I'll just to text her updates when he scoots to the bathroom; I don't need her to tag along with us like some kind of unpaid security detail.  

I have nothing against his friend--who I'm sure is a nice guy even though I have no interest in talking to him--but why the fuck is he even here? I didn't realize that we'd need a chaperone to grab beers and play pool in some lame bar (his date idea, not mine). This is some rookie dating bullshit right here and I'm not standing for it. I will however sit for it. Over there by the jukebox. Far away from the both of them.


Anonymous said...

That's just not a date. If it was pitched as a pre-date, "get to know you," meetup, MAYBE it's acceptable. (I once had a friend who was interested in my sweetie's friend. Sweetie's friend reciprocated, but both were nervous, for reason that, frankly, I forget. The solution? A double-date that wasn't even approaching a fix-up, because it was all THEIR idea. We just said, "uh, sure." The difference is, they BOTH agreed to all this.)

Having him turn up for a stated date with a best bud, totally unannounced, is just way beyond date territory. Good thing his best bud isn't female. I can just imagine the hilarity that could ensue then!

Anna said...

I'm telling you; it WAS a date! We'd met a week before and he said specifically that he wanted to take me out on a date. We were supposed to go out for dinner that night but his work ran late so we decided on drinks instead at the last minute. Then he showed up with his best friend. He's a little on the young side so I think that may have been a factor.

At the end of the night, he asked me out again and promised that the next time we went out, it'd be just us. I politely declined.

Anonymous said...

Definitely not claiming it wasn't INTENDED as a date, mind you. Just agreeing that it was total date fail, on his part, to the point where the date part of the date never actually happened.

Anonymous said...

I love you ShmittenKitten and all your wonderful banter, please post more often!!!

Anna said...

I've been busy with some other projects so I haven't been able to post here as much as I like. Frown! However, I update my tumblr Shlooby Kitten (http://shloobykitten.tumblr.com) daily and I tweet a ton with funny shit so follow me there if you're into the whole Twitter thing. (http://twitter.com/shmittenkitten)

Thanks for the comment! You rock.


Anonymous said...

I had a guy bring his friend on every "date". I ended up dating the friend instead after I got fed up with that shit.

Anonymous said...

I went out for a drink with a guy I once met like 10 years ago briefly.

It was awesome and he is adorable, but yip, he brought along a friend, and that kinda jus changed my perspective a bit.

He said his car was in an accident, and that his friend was gonna drop him home after.
Heres the question: Couldnt he call his friend near the end of our date to come pick him up then? & I had to sit behind in his friends car like some school kid while they dropped me off!

Anonymous said...

OMG! I'm going on a date tomorrow and he's all "is it ok if I bring my two friends"? And agreeable pushover me is like "okay". And all of a sudden he's super enthusiastic and "ok this will be fun actually". Yes. He used the word actually. I don't think there will be a second date, but I guess we'll see how it goes...

Anonymous said...

Same thing happened to me, the day of the date, he asked me if his friends could come along and I asked how many and he said 2 then I said yeah, then when i get there he calls me and says I'm with my best friend and his gf

Barney Coolio said...

I am a man, and I am shocked that men do this to women.

When women do this to me, I find it obnoxious and disappointing. I think that women do it far more often than men do it. It makes me reluctant to suggest interesting activities for first dates because that increases the risk of the woman saying, "That's a great idea! Can I bring my friend?!"

I think it is worse when women do it since women usually expect the man to drive the conversation. This becomes much more difficult and awkward when there are two women, and he is only interested in one of them. What is the other woman even doing there?

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