June 21, 2012

No Big Whoop But I'm Pretty Sure That I Found The Best OkCupid Profile Of All Time

Meet hot2trottrobott, the sassiest, Mario Lopez fan fiction-reading, Bath & Body Works employee you'll meet today:


He popped up as one of my matches last night. I have no idea what logarithms OkCupid uses, but they must be 100% accurate and reliable because he's pretty much my soulmate. There are really too many amazing things to quote from his profile; I honestly can't just pick one. You're gonna have to click the link and see for yourself.

This has to be fake because there's no way one man could be this amazing. If it is, then kudos to whoever posted it and thanks for choosing somewhere in the Philadelphia-region as his homebase. Otherwise, we never would've crossed virtual paths and that would've been a goddamn shame. He's almost a performance piece; total high art. His entire profile should be hung in a museum and admired for generations to come. Wow. Just, wow.

5 comments:

ILSE said...

this is kind of mean, doe

Amber Katz said...

My favorite part is that he can't live without his DISCMAN.

George said...

Your soulmate? Look at his top two music picks: Creed and Nickelback!

Anonymous said...

He's like Warren Zevon, only horrifying

Anonymous said...

that profile was weirdly compelling. I can't decide if this guy is for real but I'm leaning toward it....

He has to be the star of BB&B. You know that type that's famous and they talk about him for years, even after he's gone.

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