July 16, 2012

Bonerkiller: His Dream Dog

I don't like his dream dog!
When he held up his cellphone with a picture of his dream dog, I thought that he was out of his fucking mind. There's no way in hell that I'd ever agree to live with a beast like that. The damn thing is HUGE. Giant ears, giant limbs, giant paws: this translates to one thing--giant shits.   

I don't get it! Why do short guys always want huge dogs approximately the same size as they are? It's beyond weird. That'd be like walking around with a buddy on a leash and picking up his shit several times a day. Who'd want to do that on purpose? My mind = boggled.

I've never met a giant dog that I've liked. Their breath smells bad, they slobber everywhere, and they just seem so...cumbersome. Besides, I'm more of a cat person. But just because I like cats, I don't feel the need to have a 6 ft. cat I can pal around with anytime soon. I don't hate all dogs. In fact, I've met a few cool dogs that I've grown to love, but they were small and roughly the size of a cat. Coincidence? Maybe.

It sucks because he looked so happy when he showed me the picture of his dream dog. I feel terrible that I'm not nearly as enthused about the idea of a humungous canine pet as he is, but what are you gonna do? I'm not into it!

11 comments:

julia said...

I am, give him my number

Anonymous said...

How could you not want a six-foot cat? Think of the cuddles!

Mandy said...

I had the opposite happen...I thought he was totally joking about wanting the tiny purse dog. Nope.

Anonymous said...

Ugh. Guys with CATS are the worst. Instant boner killer.

Anna said...

A 6 ft. cat sounds awesome for like, three days. Any more than that then I think it'd be a hassle.

LakiSwirl said...

I LOVE giant dogs! And giant cats!! I've got a pretty beastly dog and a tiny cat, and while you're right, the dog can take some man-size dumps I"m not too fond of picking up, the cat's got the award for the more nose hair singeing odor.

Anna said...

I never grew up around dogs, so I think I'm scared of them. That could be the problem here!

Anonymous said...

Would it be totally wrong to comment on your excellent d├ęcolletage here? From where you posted your picture on your other thingy site?

Anna said...

Wow! Thank you.

Anonymous said...

a six foot cat would kill you

Anonymous said...

clearly you are a terrible person

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