"Eh, I don't feel like going out tonight. I'm old! No one needs to see an old fucker like me sitting around drinkin' beers."
What is this, "Shit Vince Vaughn Says"? I'm not gonna argue with him about how he feels old, but hearing him talk about it is a freakin' bonerkiller, man. He's not a bloated, married puffball; he's a single dude in his 30s with a reasonably good figure for his age. Knock it off!
I can tell you right now that his incessant old-man talk is a drag. It doesn't make me wanna hang out with him or touch him or entertain him with a bunch of jokes or anything. For one thing, the sex already sounds boring with him. I can tell that he's gonna be lazy. Guys who complain about being old aren't known for being limber, bedroom-wise.
And, he needs to stop talking about how he sits around, drinks whiskey, and listens to records by himself. The image of him rattling a lone ice cube around a chipped tumbler filled with Maker's Mark is depressing as hell. Jesus, he sounds like a grungy version of Eeyore.
I don't wanna hang out with old dudes. No one does. And, no girl wants to hear a guy complain about how old he feels. Are you kidding me? It's Friday fucking night. Get with the program and put a pin in the old talk, fella.