|Duke Silver should write|
a blues song about this topic
Here are some of the shitty things about being a third wheel:
- Having to file behind the couple when we walk together on narrow sidewalks. I feel like Farnsworth Bentley (aka P. Diddy's assistant) half the time we hang out because I'm trailing behind them.
- Being in a restaurant and watching them order entrees to share with me left in the cold to order an entire dish to myself. Why doesn't anyone want to share anything with me? I actually flipped out about this on Sunday night.
- Them snuggling up on a couch to watch a movie while I sit by myself and feel like I'm crashing a date or something.
- Not really spending quality time with one person since we're always in a group. For instance, I can't gab with my friend about the guy I hooked up with last weekend because her boyfriend will probably tune out or feel alienated. Therefore, we have to stick to more neutral subjects that everyone can talk about it. And you know what? That's super boring!
- I have best friends who I never get to hang out with one-on-one anymore since they always invite their significant other along. Stop doing this, couples! At the very least, ask for permission to bring him or her along. That shows that you understand that you're altering the dynamic by bringing another person into the fold.
Sorry to boohoo in my Honey Nut Cheerios over here, but this third wheel bullshit is getting old as hell. I wish there was a support group where I could meet a bunch of other third wheels and we can bond over our status. Obviously, I love my friends and this isn't an issue with anyone in particular, it's just the annoying social reality you have to deal with when you're single and it seems like the entire world is in a one giant longterm relationship.