Therefore, we've got to cut to the chase when it comes to online dating. Blurry photos from four years ago aren't gonna convince me that this guy is gonna be my soulmate. Frankly, I'm gonna need more information to go on before I commit to any kind of public outing.
So before I invest too much time in crafting long, funny emails about myself, before I suggest a festive, casual place to meet for a drink (or six), and before I tell my best friend his first name along with two sentences summing up what his "deal" is, I wanna see what I'm working with here.
Enter my genius idea: SoleMates, a dating website where guys have to post pictures of their shoes on their profile. (I'll wait here while you wrap your heads around how brilliant my concept is.)
For instance, I don't wanna see squeaky clean, chunky, white Reeboks (he's a clueless, cheesesteak-eating goon) or an old-ass Adidas flip-flop (he's an aging frat dude). No rank Converses (he's a cheapskate punker), or ratty Tevas (he probably has a smelly kitchen). And absolutely no running shoes where the toes are individually molded (he will probably hate my perfume and refuse to watch "Workaholics" with me).
However, I would welcome a classic navy New Balance sneaker or an old-school Saucony. A stylish Hush Puppy? Sure. A classic suede Puma sneaker he got on sale at DSW? Now that's a man I could knock boots with.
Who's with me on this? I think I'm on to something here. What would be your dream footwear on a dude? What would be your worst nightmare? Tell me in the comments.