Therefore, we've got to cut to the chase when it comes to online dating. Blurry photos from four years ago aren't gonna convince me that this guy is gonna be soulmate. I don't trust 'em! Frankly, I'm gonna need more information to go on before I commit to any kind of public outing.
So before I invest too much time in crafting long, funny emails about myself, before I suggest a festive, casual place to meet for a drink (or six), and before I tell my best friend his first name along with two sentences summing up what his "deal" is, I wanna see what I'm working with here.
Enter my genius idea: SoleMates, a dating website where guys have to post pictures of their shoes on their profile. (I'll wait here while you wrap your heads around how brilliant my concept is.)
For instance, I don't wanna see squeaky clean, chunky, white Reeboks (he's a clueless, cheesesteak-eating goon) or an old-ass Adidas flip-flop (he's an aging frat dude). No rank Converses (he's a cheapskate punker), or ratty Tevas (he probably has a smelly kitchen). And absolutely no running shoes where the toes are individually molded (he will probably hate my perfume and refuse to watch "Workaholics" with me).
However, I would welcome a classic navy New Balance sneaker or an old-school Saucony. A stylish Hush Puppy? Sure. A classic suede Puma sneaker he got on sale at DSW? Now that's a man I could knock boots with.
Who's with me on this? I think I'm on to something here. What would be your dream footwear on a dude? What would be your worst nightmare? Tell me in the comments.