I am a sucker, not for bartenders but for busboys! I was absolutely in love with one at this bar I used to frequent when I lived in Denver called The Giggling Grizzly, but we dubbed it The Sweaty Bear for reasons I'll leave unexplained. This kid was smokin' hot. I used to gulp down my drinks JUST so he would come fetch my glass. Do you think this means I want a subservient dude? He had some hot forearm tattoos and wore tees that fit juuust right.
One day I was at the mall when I heard the sweet sounds of an approaching skateboarder. It was him! We (mostly I) shared (with myself) a brief moment.
At the bar one night, I stepped to him with this gem of a pick-up line: "Hey, umm, my one friend thinks you look like you would have a girlfriend? Oh, you don't!? Well my OTHER friend thinks you look gay? Oh, you're not! Okay. Cool." Please note: absolutely NONE of my friends thought these things, they were standing behind me shaking their heads and laughing the whole time.
So, Denver's hottest busboy, are you still single and hetero? Can you clear and wipe down this table when you get a second? That'd be great. Just so you know, I still hold a little shot-glass-sized place for you in my heart.