March 6, 2009

Beer Week Bonerkiller: Boys That Drink Crappy Beer

Nothing kills a she-boner like boys that drink crappy watery beer and have Budweiser/Miller paraphernalia all over their apartment like a freshman dorm room. We get it: you drink beer. But, this is the same stuff I used to drink in high school with friends after scoring a six-pack from my older brother, huddled in my parents' basement thinking we were badasses.

As people mature, their taste in beer should too. I recently took a guy to Monk's who commented on what a lame-o bar it was because they didn't serve Miller. "Well, what kind of beer do you like?" I asked. "You know, BEER," was his response. Groan.

He perused the menu grimacing, unsure of what to order. It was like watching a dyslexic eighth grader looking at an LSAT exam. Don't get me wrong, I have no issues with downing a PBR every once in a while at Bob and Barbara's. I can't afford to always drink beer that has more than 3.6% ABV, but when he ordered the "Chimney" beer after I suggested Chimay, any boner I may have had for this dude vanished quicker than a Milwaukee's Best in a fraternity chug line. Bottoms up.


Anonymous said...

100% agreeing on this one. Also, it's lame if I have to explain what an 'IPA' is.

Holly Leon-Lierman said...

Very eloquently written and well said:)

Anonymous said...

Agreed, agreed. But bars are different than fridges. I support bulk purchases of cheap beer for home, and IPA or whatever other delicious options for when you're over-paying anyway. Home = 50 cents per can, except for special-occasion purchases. Then again, I quit drinking when I realized I had become an alcoholic.

But every word you say is true. Dude was a total doofus.

Anonymous said...

I have to confess, I have a certain love for old-fashioned cheap beer like PBR, Old Style, and Schlitz. Nicer lagers, ales, stouts, etc. are great of course, and everything has its time and place.

The guy sounds like a douche, though. Even if he didn't know a thing about beer, he could have at least kept his mind open and asked for a recommendation. Especially since you two were on a date...

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