March 25, 2009

Movie Mayhem: Watch At Your Own Risk

Nothing's worse than spoiling the mood with an intensely inappropriately flick. May we humbly suggest that you stay away from these films if you'd like to keep the romance alive:
  • War documentaries, especially about the Iraq War and its subsequent mismanagement.
  • For that matter, any of Michael Moore's films.
  • An Inconvenient Truth. Global environmental crises are a bummer. The only thing that rises in the film is the dolly Al Gore uses to demonstrate our skyrocketing carbon dioxide levels.
  • New skool Star Wars movies. Just say no to Jar Jar!
  • Any movie where an NBA star interacts with animated characters *cough, Space Jam, cough*
  • Rambo/Rocky movies. Really, anything with Sylvester Stallone. Gross-a-loss.
  • Movies that involve a psycho girl: Single White Female, The Hand That Rocks The Cradle, Monster, etc.
  • Blazing Saddles. I still haven't seen this, much to many boys' chagrins. I probably never will just to spite them.
  • Closer. A movie about deceptive, cheating couples? Don't do it!
  • Complicated, plot-driven television shows on DVD. For example, it's really hard to get sexxxy to the 1st season of The Wire.
  • Anything with Jean Claude Van Damme/ Steven Segal/ Chuck Norris. I don't care how rad that high kick is. Snore!
What movies would you suggest couples on a date should stay away from?


Platypus Jones said...

My worst movie date moment came when my blind date selected Roman Polanski's Bitter Moon, best described as an "anti-romantic opus of sexual obsession and cruelty aboard a claustrophobic cruise ship." Awkward!

Unknown said...

I was recently on a date w/ some dude I didn't like all that much and we went to see The Watchmen b/c I'm a bit of a fan. I didn't think they would show Dr. Manhattan's bright blue wang so much or that the sex scene would be so graphic. It made it a bit uncomfortable...esp since I didn't like the guy all that much. :P

Julia said...

*ahem* I made out shamelessly at a showing of "An Inconvenient Truth" at The Ritz.

Anonymous said...

I just advised a friend last night not to take his new date to see "Scorched" at the Wilma. Amazing play, but not for a first date.

Lisatella said...

I also made the mistake of seeing The Watchmen with a dude on some sort of quasi-date. It was awkward, I'll give you that.

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