A guy who knows his way around a jukebox is hot. We're not talking about those ridiculous digital ones where you have to search an online database and pay roughly a dollar a song. Those are lame. We're talkin' about those beat up push-button behemoths that you'll find in the better dive bars around the city. They are basically CD depositories that skew heavily towards '90s alternative and classic rock. You know the drill.
These guys flip through the reams of CD covers in deep concentration. Once they find the perfect song to play next, their eyes twinkle as they tap in the corresponding code. When they come back to your table, they're all smug, knowing that they programmed the perfect soundtrack for the next 23 minutes.
David Bowie, Prince, "Cheer" by the Descendants, INXS, Dinosaur Jr., Squeeze, Velvet Underground, The Cure, early Michael Jackson, Thin Lizzy, old skool Metallica, lesser-known Rolling Stones songs, "100%" by Sonic Youth, Bob Dylan, anything off Pet Sounds, and/or most of the songs on the Singles Soundtrack are all totally acceptable song choices.
Jukebox no-nos can include: Slayer, Moby, Slipknot, Eminem, Kid Rock, that "Sex and Candy" song, Right Said Fred, the Barbie Girl song, the "Macarena," "Mambo #5," Fatboy Slim, Blink-182, early No Doubt, Prodigy, new school Metallica, and anything off the "Now That's What I Call Music" compilations. Yuck.
The best part is when your favorite Pixies song comes on over the house stereo system and you share a smile over your Kenzinger. We tip our hats to you, jukebox heroes, for kickin' out the jams and kickstartin' our hearts.