The rad thing about beer bellies is that the rest of the body is generally in good shape; that's why it's called a beer belly, not a beer body. There's something about that magical, bowling ball-shaped bump that we find endearing. Perhaps if we rub his belly like a magic lamp, a genie will pop out. Hey, it's worth a shot.
Additionally, his belly is like a comfy, built-in pillow filled with delicious food and alcohol. You can share an ice cream sundae with him and then take a nap on his stomach without getting up from the couch. Maybe we just never got over our childhood fascination with Santa Claus, but either way, a beer belly ain't killin' this boner.