Listen, you seem like a pleasant guy. I mean, you've always been cordial to me. You haven't made me pop a button laughing or anything, but you are well-regarded among our peers. That's a plus.
But, like Paula Abdul demanded in her song, I'm gonna be straight up with you: when I see your name as an incoming call, my heart jumps out of my chest until I realize that you're not the guy that killed my soul. You see, you have the same first name as my ex, the guy I'm actively trying to forget. About 60% of the reason I'm even considering dating you is to get over him, and this name thing is proving to be a battle that you may not win.
I've tried assigning you a nickname in my phone, but it's not enough because when you call, I have to say your name. I can't avoid it. When you email me, my stomach gets in knots until I see the last name and realize that it's you and not, well, him. I just don't see how this is going to work. You have the same first name as my ex! It's weird! I don't want to date a guy with the same name.
Sorry. Uh. Yeah. *backs away slowly, feeling sheepish*