July 22, 2009

Bonerkiller: You Have The Same First Name As My Ex

Listen, you seem like a pleasant guy. I mean, you've always been cordial to me. You haven't made me pop a button laughing or anything, but you are well-regarded among our peers. That's a plus.

But, like Paula Abdul demanded in her song, I'm gonna be straight up with you: when I see your name as an incoming call, my heart jumps out of my chest until I realize that you're not the guy that killed my soul. You see, you have the same first name as my ex, the guy I'm actively trying to forget. About 60% of the reason I'm even considering dating you is to get over him, and this name thing is proving to be a battle that you may not win.

I've tried assigning you a nickname in my phone, but it's not enough because when you call, I have to say your name. I can't avoid it. When you email me, my stomach gets in knots until I see the last name and realize that it's you and not, well, him. I just don't see how this is going to work. You have the same first name as my ex! It's weird! I don't want to date a guy with the same name.

Sorry. Uh. Yeah. *backs away slowly, feeling sheepish*


Jon K said...

At least he doesn't have the same name as your dad.

Anna said...

ACTUALLY, that has happened to me too. Spoiler alert: It didn't last long.

Jon K said...

What if he's got a unique name in your black book, but his bike has the same name as your ex?

Julia said...

Brother's name is hard for me, though technically both my most recent ex and my brother have the same name....

blandon said...

when i was dating my last girlfriend, my dad accidentally called my mom by her name.
that was a little weird.

unmotivated said...

One time I dated a girl named Ryan, which was also my best (dude) friend's name.

"ooo yeah Ryan, you like tha... ugh, I gotta go."

incidentally, neither were the Ryan above.

(also, lolzers to "his bike has the same name")

Anna said...

@Ryan WOW! Uh, that's awkward!

@unmotivated that's kinda creepy.

@Jon now that I think about it, hooking up with a guy who has the same name as my dad wasn't that weird because I don't call my dad by his first name, you know? it WOULD be weird to hook up with a guy who's name was Dad, though. Ick.

Arisa said...

Yes on this! My current guy, Zac has the same name as and ex and reading this I realized I often avoid saying his name. That ex went by his middle but had the first name, Eric. The guy I dated before that was an Erik. My brother is an Eric. This is super awkward but I didn't pay attention at the time or go far enough that it mattered a lot.

Post a Comment