We have a hotline, my friendsAlright, that last line of the song didn't really fit but whatever. Behold:
And, we'll keep on calling 'til the end
We have a hotline
We have a hotline
No time for losers
'Cause we have a hotline
...of the world!
Yup, our number is (215) 25 Dudez, ((215)-253-8339), because that's how many guys it'll take to get a party started. It's like a party minyan (that's a Jewish joke.) Could you imagine if you had 25 guys calling you? It'd be mandemonium, which is a contraction of "man" and "pandemonium" and it's what we call it when we go through some sort of monsoon season of attraction and every guy we meet seems to be interested in us. The "z" at the end is just the right amount of shade flippin' wackiness. There you go. And so, (215) 25 Dudez was born.
We signed up for this number through Google Voice last night and, truth be told, we're excited about the possibilities. Call or text us a message offering your suggestions for Tip Our Hats, Bonerkillers, Quick Rants, or anything else we usually cover. Tell us a joke. Ask us about when we're gonna announce our Speed Dating parties. [The answer: we're going to make an announcement very soon. There, we just saved you a dime.] Let us know if you're on a terrible date while you are on the date. Hell, ask us out on a date!
Drunk dial, meet (215) 25 DUDEZ. (215) 25 DUDEZ, meet drunk dialing. Whatever you do, just play nice.
Moving forward, we will use this number to give updates about our speed dating parties and any other events we might throw in the future. Maybe we'll use it to announce contests or give you sneak peeks into what we're working on. It's all fun.
(Now, say this line in your best Tobias Funke voice)
Let the great Shmitten Kitten hotline experiment begin!